au revoir

this is it

2009-10-25T00:18:00.002+08:00

closure.

it has been a good 1 year using blogger but i have decided the need to move on. as a chapter of my life ends, another new chapter begins for me. and i felt the need to start on a new page.

as much good memories i have on this blog, i have to move on by closing this door. i thank all of you for the events that have inspired me to blog about it.

i will see you on the other side.

the end.

the search for something more

2009-10-06T21:24:00.001+08:00

wishing it was so much simpler for me.

what goes around / comes around

2009-09-22T23:04:00.004+08:00

selamat hari raya aidilfitri. maaf zahir dan batin.

and i forgive all of you. regardless of race, language or religion.

hari raya was awesome.

awesome food. awesome people. awesome 'drama'. awesome shows.

though the radio could have played my favourite hari raya song more often.

or the fact that we could have visited more houses on the first day and collected more 'money' since it is going to be the last year that i will be getting money.

or the fact that i could have asked wak ros about hari raya cookies which i could then improve on my baking skills.

or the fact that whole saga could have been avoided if only brains were used to think instead of their mouths.

or the fact that i should have taken more photos with my camera and not get crappy photos that my annoying little brother snapped for me.

or the fact that i saw everyone was crying on hari raya (thanks to the incident) which includes matin, shasha, my brother and the little kids.

or the fact all my nieces and nephews look so adorable and cute. which leads me to think whether i was that cute when i was that small.

or the fact that the biggest game of the EPL that week had to coincide with the screening of luqman's drama. and yes. my cousin was in the hari raya telemovie on suria.

or the fact that aunties and uncles keep asking me on when i am going to enlist. and they keep forgetting every hour.

or the fact that my mum keeps telling everyone about faz which i have to constantly remind everyone she is just a friend. and that i do not know what she does all the time because i am not a kaypoh and do not like disturb people when they are busy.

or the fact that two of my close cousins are leaving next year (i don't really care about the other one). and it's quite sucky since one will be for a year and the other for 5 years.

or the fact wak jas's version of maggi taste so much better than the original one in which i am thinking of selling the recipe to nestle.

or the fact that wak garang/police (that's what we cousins call him) came back unannounced and made us all restructure the family tree.

or the fact that i am proud to be part of either side of family. for each has it's own uniqueness and strengths.

for what is worth, i love my family.

they are so cute that i wanted to bring them home.

infatuation

2009-09-16T16:15:00.003+08:00

blogger is healed. for now.

but i'm no longer interested in blogger.

eating kueh raya the past few nights. might not be enough when hari raya comes.

dramas galore starting next week.

monday - house, heroes, one tree hill and how i met your mother

thursday - private practice, fringe, grey's anatomy and the mentalist

friday - ugly betty

hopefully it will keep me occupied.

it's alright, it's ok

2009-09-05T16:16:00.000+08:00

break down for next week.

- clean up the study room. clear all rubbish which includes food, water bottles and staled papers.

- clean up wardrobe. throw away unwanted clothes. make room for classier clothes.

- clean up desktop. delete all old and useless files. MORE MEMORY SPACE NEEDED. drama season coming soon.

- go to the market to buy all the necessary items for baking of cookies. transfer oven, mixer and all important baking materials to my aunt's house. making 6 (tentatively) cookies and 3 cakes - expected completion time in 1.3 weeks

- air/east senior specialist course. ms azyan want/dont want me to be there.

- sea/west senior specialist course. SOS call from shol to help out. might not stay throughout.

- medical appointment with specialist. need to up PES.

- interview appointment at MOE. need a job.

need more energy. need more coffee. need more money. need to exercise. need to gain weight.

halfway there to completion.

better that we break

2009-09-01T13:16:00.000+08:00

finally it has ended.

quite a number of events coming up. shall attempt to attend most of them.

but now is the time for spring cleaning.

massive throwing of papers, plastics and dust. don't think 3 big black bags would be enough.

and i shall continue to update like this if blogger stays retarded.

wake up call

2009-08-25T21:46:00.000+08:00

6 days of madness.

more vitamins and fluid to keep it going.

make or break time.

no more repeats. no more failures.

this is it.

black or white

2009-08-22T15:56:00.001+08:00

Mr Lee also drew the House's attention to Article 152 of the Constitution, which makes it the Government's responsibility to 'constantly care for the interests of the racial and religious minorities in Singapore'.

In particular, it states that the Government must recognise the special position of the Malays, 'the indigenous people of Singapore', and safeguard their political, economic and educational interests.

Mr Lee contrasted Singapore's approach with that of the United States, where despite a 1776 declaration that 'all men are created equal', blacks did not get the right to vote until a century later, and racial segregation continued well into the 20th century.

For Singapore to reach a point where all races could be treated equally 'is going to take decades, if not centuries', he said bluntly.

For this reason, he sees the Pledge not as an 'ideology', as Mr Viswa put it, but as an 'aspiration'.

taken from straitstimes.com

my aunt complained that the malays are often seen as being looked down by the other races. she mentioned that most companies are still racist in the sense that they do not hire malays. that she is a civil servant who claims to see a lot of racism in the government sectors. like how the army are particular about accepting malays in certain formations. or like during the national day parade, they bemoan the fact that few malays have been parade commanders or flag ensigns.

there are more claims but i am just too plain lazy to list out all.

all i can say that all these claims are just rumours and nonsense.

i feel that opportunities are always open for all. don't tell me that there are no malay commandoes cause there are. or very few malay pilots. it's all about the desire and want to get what we malays want. don't complain and sit around while waiting for something to happen.

nothing is going to change unless we malays change ourselves. stop having short-term goals and be happy with the life that one have now. instead, push ourselves to achieve more because there is no limit to whatever we can do. if there's a will, there's a way. i have seen it that such things CAN occur. and i want to do it also.

so it's time for malays to put in their fair share of work for this country. no point complaining about almost everything. it's time we stop reading malays in all the wrong headlines.

blogger is still screwed up. such a disappointment. time to find a new house.

back to studying.

mandy

2009-08-17T22:02:00.001+08:00

blogger is full of crap.

livejournal just keeps getting weirder.

hotmail can go suck thumb.

twitter is overloading.

facebook can just end the story and shut down.

thank god for channel 5 for playing armageddon for the 649853696 number of times. such good food for my inner soul. i can never get sick of watching it.

will be needing lots of motivation to keep me for the next couple of weeks. though there were a couple of setbacks and disappointment in the recent weeks, i believe it has made me a stronger person both mentally and physically. the fact that i'm still holding on proves that any obstacle in my way can be overcome.

may god grant me the strength to carry on

what do you see

2009-08-09T23:59:00.000+08:00

happy national day.

we, the citizens of singapore, pledge ourselves as one united people, regardless of race, language or religion, to build a democratic society based on justice and equality so as to achieve happiness, prosperity and progress for our nation.

did you observe the pledge moment?

saturday outing with 'that same group of people' went pretty awesome. though there was a bit of 'hiccup' at the beginning. thank god sosweetsirsean lived up to his name and was rather merciful about it. haha. frisbee session was enlightening since me and jojo found out that we got a hidden talent in throwing the disc. though the same can't be said for jia hui and cheryl.

traveling around with a group of people who rarely go places in singapore can really made me wonder whether i am just awesome or that my friends have been living overseas for a significant number of years. not knowing certain local food or never been to certain local landmarks can really make one scratch one's head.

and the food for the picnic is still in the car.

went to 2 weddings today - jurong and pasir ris. i would count myself lucky as i got to see the groom fetched his bride. not without certain traditional malay customs. the dance by the kuda kepang is kind of fascinating. though one might think all of these might be ridiculous and full of nonsense, i find it rather intriguing. makes me want to learn more about it.

i love weddings.

the pledge moment was kind of a noisy affair. my parents and my aunt kept making a lot remarks in between and the little ones were restless. nonetheless, i still felt a bit of that moment when i took the pledge at the preview show. and the following national anthem made me shed a few tears. call me a patriotic if you want.

but i am proud to be a singaporean.

to be a metropolis country in the space of 44 years is no mean feat. and with arts and sports scene growing at an exponential rate, the singapore scene is certainly hotting up. with the high influx of foreigners becoming permanent residents, the face of local is not defined to a chinese, malay or indian anymore.

singapore is still a relatively young country. with so much to look forward to, the future looks bright for all of us singaporeans. with the right mentality and attitude, success on all fronts can be achieved one day.

for me, i hope that one day the national football team will make it big in the international scene. local footballers will become household names just like torres or ronaldo. a local singer will make it big in the american charts. or local dramas will be of quality and that it will get an international release. a home grown local athlete may one day win the olympic medal.

so what do you see?

shine on me

2009-08-04T21:12:00.000+08:00

a punk rock cover of the singapore national day songs medley. kind of impressive i would say. in the spirit of this year's indie theme song.

found by prabakaran.

5 more days to national day parade 2009

count on me singapore

2009-08-03T06:27:00.002+08:00

can't resist the temptation to publish these pictures. and since blogger is still going through 'puberty' changes, had to resort to my photobucket account.

emma watson's latest magazine shoot.

photo credits to teen vogue.

6 more days to national day parade 2009

rhythm nation

2009-08-02T14:15:00.000+08:00

august rush.

the whole week was spent on completing assingments and starting on the papers. time seems to be moving fast lately. like it was the holidays last week. now it seems that the end is near. and the panic has not sunk into me yet. like i have nothing to worry about.

the work might be pilling up which is an indication of how busy i am supposed to be. but instead, i felt so bored the whole week. no one to go out with during the week days. guess i had to see that one coming since most of my friends are already in national service. the lack of excitement has kind of left me feel unmotivated to do any work. i have a feeling that my body is in singapore and my soul is in tekong.

and the feeling of not being stress is stressing me.

went to watch public enemies. again. this time round with the sp classmates. it seems like i have a habit of watching movies twice. not as if it was like a one for one offer. but the movie was simply awesome. johnny depp really portrayed his character really really well. though christian bale was also good, it felt like he was being overshadowed by johnny depp's presence in the the scenes they were together.

if i was a teenage girl, i would not ignore the fact that johnny depp is gorgeous.

national day preview show last night was simply awesome. with the concept based on the singapore pledge, even a simple minded person can follow the whole show through the simple chapter by chapter format. with ivan heng as the creative director, the whole show was very upbeat with catchy songs and eye-catching visuals that can just blow you off. for once, i did not sleep for the post-parade segment. instead, i was constantly moving my body and legs, waving the heart-shaped torch and singing along to the songs.

that's not much bad points to say for the whole show. the ones that i could remember was that the parade segment was kind of short and cheryl wanted 5 fighter planes instead of 3. though the afterburner made up for it. haha. mark lee and suhaimi yusof were the better emcees for the day, upstaging the likes of michelle chong, vernetta lopez and seasoned host, gurmit singh. their hilarious lines certainly kept the crowd laughing.

i bet matin would enjoy the whole show very very much.

for now, i think i might cut down on blogging. like i have nothing to blog about since my life is awfully dull. i even missed my one year anniversary of my blog which i had initial plans though it was simply forgotten in the past few weeks. i remembered i use to update like almost everyday. there was even a couple of times when i update twice in a day. perhaps what shasha said about losing steam and creativity to blog might just be true.

even jojo and cheryl do not update their blogs regularly as they used to. though the same can't be said for sean and clement. there are also others whom i just read for specific reasons. jia hui's blog is for humour purposes, riley's is for making me jealous for her exciting life, matin's for his random thoughts of creativity and shasha's is when i'm just trying to try my luck if she updates. there are also other blogs that i do visit but only when i feel like reading blogs.

perhaps the era of blogging is indeed dying. a lot of people are switching to shorter versions of updates or twitter as they call it. the sudden surge of twitter users in the past few months are kind of expected i would say. when i first started twittering last year, i should have taken it more seriously or i could have gotten more followers.

like barney's theory of saying less words as the time goes by when you are asking a girl for sex, i guess the same theory can be applied here as well. with the lack of time these days, people are constantly searching for alternative ways to do everything faster, shorter and easier. if i managed to live longer, i might just be able to see the world as exactly pixar imagined it to be in the movie wall-e where everyone did everything while sitting down.

and i am not going to pretend that your absence is bothering me.

tabloid junkie

2009-07-26T22:54:00.000+08:00

in the name of of god, the most gracious and most merciful.

i think blogger has somewhat got a lot of problems with their html codings. been giving me problems since last week. like i can't get my entries to be published and drafts cannot be saved. i think blogger has lost the plot to wordpress. have been playing around with css codes the past 3 days. and i am quite tempted to make the switch as well to wordpress.

maybe i shall stick with blogger for a period of time. give it time to prove it's capabilities. if all else fails, then i shall revert to wordpress or livejournal. in any case, i already got the domains. just a matter of transferring over my archives to the respective blogs. and i find that wordpress can do a lot more to the editing side while livejournal is idiot proof.

somehow, it's blogger for me. just for the moment.

yasmin ahmad passed away last night. she was 51. an acclaimed director with an impressive portfolio of movies such as sepet, gubra and muallaf which gained international screenings in a lot of countries. she was unlike malaysian directors in which her movies are somewhat personal opinions in the everyday malaysian life. she broke multi-racial barriers with her stories and casting of a multi-ethnic cast. not many knew that she was the director behind the pro-family advertisement in singapore.

personally for me, i am honoured to have met her once in person. though the exchange of words might have been brief, i can somehow get the impression that she was a person with deep thoughts and who believes strongly in her values of life. i admit that at that point of time i was not that crazy as shasha who went to take picture with her. thanks to her who managed to convince me to follow her to the asian civilization musuem in the late morning after my night shift at jurong island.

you'll be missed. rest in peace.

meanwhile, public enemies is a movie worth watching at the cinema. easily one of the best movies in 2009. the film's cinematography and scenes were shot in unique camera angles and in hd format. simple storyline with a lot of emotions involved with a strong start and dramatic climax at the end. the movie is so good that i'm thinking of replacing star trek with it as the best movie of the year.

and johnny depp's performances in public enemies was simply outstanding. he had that cold hard look that make him look good as a bank robber. that one scene where he coolly walked into the police station as a wanted man was unforgettable. even christian bale who is one of the best actors of his generation was outshone in the movie. and i could not even recognize channing tatum who was one of the bad fellas.

"one minute. forty seconds. flat."

being sick for the past two weeks can be a real pain in the ass. that constant headaches and body aches were killing me. and that occasional fever once in a fever really made me weak for hours. hoping i'll get better soon. else, tke will come hunt me down. haha.

happy 11th birthday to my youngest brother, hafiz. happy 20th birthday to luke as well. dinner last night was great. i loved the food and the place. shall go there again with my friends.

oh. and the mak cik keropok story is getting more ridiculous with each passing day. so stop spreading the rumours. it's like a scam to scare the elderly, young kids and the naive people. and there's no harm in buying the keropok from her. who knows if you ask her nicely for a packet of ruffles or twisties, she'll be more than happy to sell it to you at a cheaper price.

and no message could have been any clearer.

let's groove

2009-07-12T22:11:00.007+08:00

edited@0115hrs

SHAME ON YOU HARIZ FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO DANCE LIKE THAT.

what a bummer.

it really sucks big time when your laptop died on you for the 5873939th time. and this time, it really wont be coming back since the hard drive cannot be revived anymore. and gone along with it's death, my collection of thousands and thousands of songs and my chick flick movies which i have been collecting over the years. meaning i won't get to see lindsay lohan in the parent trap or rachel leigh cook in she's all that or hillary duff in a cinderella story.

damn you fujitsu.

last friday with the spastic group was kind of fun and full. full as in stomach full. plus corrine is really a special breed of homo sapiens. she constantly entertains the whole lot of us with her incredible stories. and she does all the retarded stuff like marching from the restaurant to the bus stop and slow marching from school to the mrt station. crazy biatch.

and janice backed out on us once again. sigh.

i kind of pity hazimah the other day. imagine a whole lot of ncc guys coming over to your mum's food stall and buying food there. it doesnt help when some of us were in no.4 that day. my bro told me that she was kind of shy to be serving the whole lot of us. and i can somehow feel for her. serving people who might know you and from an organization that you were once part of. kind of shitty i would say.

but somehow it can't be help. my parents loved the place even before i even knew that the nice auntie was her mum. and my dad cannot stop raving about the quality of chicken rice there. let's just hope the days when my family will be going there, she won't be there.

it's amazing the passing of the king of pop can spark an interest in a music genre - classic rhythm and blues and soul. am currently into earth wind and fire songs such as boogie wonderland and got to get you into my life and of course the jacksons. kind of feel good songs that can somehow make you feel relax and calm after a long day.

if i can pick which decade i want to be born into, it would be the 80's. an era black music were on the rise and getting more commercialized. contemporary pop with classic soul songs which were at the peak. and of course you got the classic rock bands like iron maiden, deep purple, rainbow and kiss. not to forget the era where my mum would have big hair styles and danced to those funky dance tracks.

talking about hair styles, i would be sporting those long hair styles with the pony tail in the 80's. and my shirts would be all bright and accompanied with jeans with holes. the high cut sneakers would then complete the look. how cool can i get? and it was a time where there was a boom in the singapore economy meaning i could afford anything i wanted to. wow.

can't stop till i get enough.

harry potter mania kicking in me slowly. started reading the half blood prince last night. kind of distracting to be reading it right now since i got reports to be done. but you just get the feeling of just doing what you want to and procrastinating the work to do it later at another convenient time.

and im so tempted to catch the sneak preview on wednesday night. any cousins interested? since matin and shasha is sooo free nowadays. haha.

remember bosson? the guy whom i can only remember one hit single. but that one single that got stuck in my head till now. i think i got to rent the movie miss congeniality.

gone too soon

2009-07-09T21:24:00.003+08:00

hair raising.

that was how it felt like when paris jackson took centre stage and gave her last words to her dad. those words meant the most than the rest of the other grievers who mourn the loss of the king of pop. imagine losing your dad at such a young age. a dad who has done so much for them.

hoping the kids will grow to have a large heart as their dad.

went out with wj and jon chua last night. ate at some new indian stall near bukit batok mrt before going to the arcade. me and wj were so into the basketball game in which we nearly reached the last stage. went back to chua's house to get the car before going to mustaffa centre. in which there was a stopover at ben's house in clementi. fooled around in mustaffa centre for quite some time before finally going home at 2plus in the morning.

anyway, mr chan wei jiang will be enlisting tomorrow. at pasir ris camp where he will be trained to be an elite red beret soldier. hopefully his arms will get bigger, run alot faster and hope his brains won't get smaller. haha. all the best for your ns life. hopefully you can try going into command school. though i know it'll be hard but i believe you can do it. have fun :)

and i've yet to find a buddy to watch harry potter with me next week. so if you are a fan, please do ask me out. i'm the sort of person who can watch the same movie more than once at the cinemas.

speaking of which, i finally got to watch definitely, maybe. and it was real good. for a storyline which is rather simple, it was amazing that the writer managed to make the whole movie enjoyable to watch with proper casting and dialogues. and somehow in the movie, isla fisher was so much cuter when compared to her appearance in the confessions of a shopaholic.

a movie to watch for chick flick lovers.

just finished watching sydney white starring amanda bynes. quite a typical chick flick movie since it was a modern remake of snow white and the seven dwarfs. if not for amanda bynes, i dont think i would have watched the movie. thought the lead actor was rather good looking. and sara paxton was super skinny in the movie.

and i finally got to meet sgt dollah's son. in an exclusive interview that i had with him in class earlier today, he reminded fans not to miss the season 6 opening episode of police and thief due in august.

40 marks out of a possible 50. eat that!

billie jean

2009-07-07T00:46:00.003+08:00

the honour of marching at the national stadium. singapore youth festival opening ceremony 2004.

i think it's funny how as a cadet officer, the close friends that i have are those from the 52nd batch. people like jia hui, jojo and sean are those whom i meet up from time to time. i do have friends who are the same batch as me. just that i am more comfortable with the younger batch. and i think it makes me feel young at the same time. haha.

went back to sji last friday. got passed the security relatively easy before having lunch at my favourite malay stall. as usual, she gave me extra rice and chicken portions. sgt khairul came down to escort the rifles. and being familiar with the school, he went missing from time to time. i think to catch up on his sleep since he had fever that morning. full dress rehearsal went well i would say. though there were a couple of mistakes, i think the parade is always different every year in terms of the quality.

witnessed the battle of the KIMs and LEEs on monday night. as in on the football pitch. came early at jalan besar stadium to see the second half of the china - iran match in which the latter won. jia hui came later and had 7-11 dinner by the roadside. match went pretty well though it was not that exciting as i had thought it would be. the south korean fans kept chanting throughout the match which sounded to me like "we want more mango" and "pray to me god".

the south were very physical in their approach of the game. i would not be surprised if the news headlines would be the north koreans firing missiles at south korea. it would be revenge for the loss in the final.

speaking about AYG, i am proud to say that singapore has won 9 gold medals with a total medal haul of 30 medals. our singaporean athletes have far exceeded my expectations at the games. the best performer would be quah ting wen with 4 gold medals and a bronze medal. and to sidetrack a bit, i kind of think she's the kind of girl that appeals to me. with brains (first year student in rjc) and that sporty look, she's attractive. haha.

the 6th harry potter is coming out in 2 weeks. will be looking forward to it. not forgetting bruno, gi joe and aliens in the attic. i think 2009 will be remembered as the year that i went to the cinemas like almost every week. with the huge pile of ticket stubs getting bigger, i don't think i will be suffering from any burnout soon.

i kind of think girls who have hoarse voices are sexy. think sophia bush and rachael ray. that is so attractively hot for me.

remember the time

2009-07-01T02:07:00.008+08:00

month of july.

2005 when i was the conducting specialist for the 153rd anniversary parade for my school. that was the first time that both conducting specialists were so short that the flag was even taller than me when we both stood at the steps.

wei jiang was the colours rsm. nathan was the parade rsm. brien was the unit ensign. ah kong was the guard of honour contingent commander. hariz was as usual swaying in the goh contingent. he even got poh ciat, jeremy, kent and alex to sway along as well and it look weird to see a section in the goh to just sway left and right together.

i remembered going nuts when we secondary fours like officially stood down at the end of the parade. all of us like ran to the air room from all our positions and just started becoming monkeys. we messed up the air room so bad that it was as though there was a hurricane in the room. i recalled hariz throwing his no4 boots which missed me by a few centimeters. and wee hoe broke a few of the dummy rifles.

all of us were having so much fun that we missed melvin ho walking into the room. in the end, we all had to clean up the mess the next day.

but the ecstasy of knowing that you have passed out is still one of the best feelings i ever had in my entire life. as the 50th batch of NCOs, me and my part mates certainly worked hard to earn the best air unit award. to go through all kinds of nonsense together certainly made the passing out parade a bittersweet memory. it is the journey of blood, sweat and tears that make us close friends up to this day.

the 4 years of ncc life i had in sji is something that i can never forget. and i can never thank my part mates enough for all the good and bad times that we all spent together.

i am so looking forward to my enlistment.

dangerous

2009-06-29T02:38:00.003+08:00

rewind.

i cannot get the michael jackson's songs out of my head. ever since i came back from jb, i have been singing like every now and then. it does not help when the pirated shops in jb are blasting billie jean like almost all the time. coupled with videos of his concerts. that anti gravity lean. oooh.

such influence michael jackson has on all of us. even though he's now dead.

jb trip on saturday night was kind of okay. getting use to the way malaysians drive are kind of fun. just have a disregard of the traffic rules and you are now like a malaysian driver. had dinner at midnight before having durians like in 2 plus in the morning. came home at 4am. plus while the rest of the family had a good sleep in the long way home through the tuas checkpoint, i had to kept my eyes 'open' so we all could reach home 'safely'.

spent the whole sunday like lying around while briefly looking through at the notes. ever since mj died, i cannot focus that much on the studying part. i have to constantly grab my crotch and start singing in order for me to stay focused. the need to keep seeing his videos keeps getting worse. it's like mj had all the fans walking around like zombies without his presence.

i think i need mental therapy.

MSTs starts today. two words - not ready. enough said.

Deep In The Darkness Of
Passion's Insanity
I Felt Taken By Lust's
Strange Inhumanity
This Girl Was Persuasive
This Girl I Could Not Trust
The Girl Was Bad
The Girl Was Dangerous

I Never Knew
But I Was Living In Vain
She Called My House
She Said You Know My Name
And Don't You Pretend
You Never Did Me Before
With Tears In Her Eyes
My Baby Walked Out The Door

She's So Dangerous
The Girl Is So Dangerous
Take Away My Money
Throw Away My Time
You Can Call Me Honey
But You're No Damn Good For Me

indeed it is dangerous.

michael jackson

2009-06-26T20:08:00.004+08:00

utter disbelief.

that was the reaction when i learnt that michael jackson had passed away. being awaken by a sms saying wow honey, mj died. what followed next was the fastest i ever got out of bed, running to the tv and laptop. took quite a while for the realization to hit me that my idol had just passed away.

tried to study after that, but i just could not concentrate at all. images of him kept popping in my head. even seeing megan fox or jennifer aniston in the magazines could not force out the constant memories of michael jackson.

at the end, i just gave up and began watching all of michael jackson's videos.

my first encounter with michael jackson was when i was with my paternal cousins at my grandma's house in bukit batok. there was the special video premiere of his latest song. like in all his previous music videos, there was an accompanying short story in it as well. i remembered watching his face being blown into pieces, thus leaving only his skeletal frame. and those ghouls which was his backup dancers at the back kept making spooky advances on the little children.

the first song i heard from mj - ghosts from the HIStory album.

over time as i grew older, i began listening to other songs from his other albums. two songs were my personal favourites - heal the world and black and white. to use his fame and popularity to send political messages through his songs was a pure class of brilliance.

and of course, his slick dance moves never fail to captivate me. it's like as though he was not human at all. the moonwalk on earth, the slow-mo turn and the crotch grabbing are just a few of his dancing repertoire. his music videos are the reason why mtv was not put out of business. the billie jean, thriller and smooth criminal music videos are something that i can constantly watch all the time.

the fact that there are endless stories about him to blog about really says a lot about the great man who entertained us for the past 4 decades. and the fact that people all around the world will be blogging about him defines his popularity. to each individual, they will have stories about how michael jackson touch their lives and make a difference.

as for me, i am proud to have lived during the michael jackson era. like how my father had the beatles and my grandfather had elvis prestley, i had the honour of michael jackson entertaining me. no matter how much bad press he got in the past few years, he will forever be my idol. he was the reason why i fell in love with music.

now that he is gone, it's like as though the world is now silent. music can never be the same again. there is no one to do the moonwalk for us. no one to do the slick dance moves. no one to do the famous kick and crotch grabbing. no one to sing black or white and heal the world. no one to unite the world through music.

there can be only one michael jackson.

irreplaceable.

high school musical

2009-06-21T23:14:00.003+08:00

awkward.

that sums up my first few moments during the reunion with my primary school classmates. though the girls seemed perfectly fine with talking one another. being the only guy there at first among the 7 other girls was indeed hard for me to handle. plus the pressure of starting the fire did not help to my situation.

thank god i did not start cooking any food cause it started to rain not long after. so the bbq event turn into a cooking event with the girls taking turn to cook. that turned out to be great thing since the girls insisted that girls cook and guys bbq. so i spent a lot of my time talking to ziling.

there was a lot of stuff going on throughout the night. from the many different stories of their jc and secondary school lives to their never ending questions about my relationship status. but the real highlight would be the auto-biography book that melisa kept for 8 years. in it was all the personal information of all of us that includes favourites and dislikes.

and i found out the horrible truth that faz used to hate me last time. haha. she listed me as her enemy. along with shenton way which referred to sheng wei. and keeping to the bro code, i listed all my guy friends as my gold friends. likewise for the other guys.

melisa even kept photos of us in some photo album. and i realized i did look adorable last time. hahaha. andrea being excited and all began snapping all the old photos. kind of look retarded cause melisa could have easily scanned the photos.

hanged out for a while more at mcds with some of the girls and jing yi who came halfway through dinner. discussed ideas about the next gathering and of course the relationship talk was also brought up. went home at around 12 plus.

thanks to those who spent time and effort to come down and meet up - melisa, charmaine, wen lin, andrea, denise, ziling, wong simin and my gold friend, jing yi. special thanks to melisa for letting us use her house kitchen. i sure did have fun.

looking forward to the next gathering. tentatively at 10 july. night cycling.

a retarded photo of me with melisa and jing yi. and i was a prefect. no idea how i got it.

i have friends in holy spaces

2009-06-20T12:56:00.005+08:00

woah.

and so i was away for 2 whole weeks. with so many events going on, i just didn't have the time to blog. or like i was plain lazy to update. haha.

school ended on 5th june. but for me, it felt like school ended on 12 june. with the many reports that had to be done, it was simply impossible to complete all of it. especially when your group mates did not contribute that much to the reports since they knew i had the previous reports to refer to. that kind of sucks big time. trying to figure out all the calculations and thinking of possible discussion topics.

but at least that was some sort of revision for me for the upcoming MST.

had supper with the sji people on the friday night (12 july) at al azhar. nearly didn't manage to go till i lied to my parents that i would be fetching faz which instead i was hanging out with my friends. met poh ciat for the first time in nearly 2 years who is now an air force officer.

had a lot of good army talk with them before going home. linton seemed to be in a bad mood which no one could understand why. but i believe it was a good catching up session. next up, my sec 2 class reunion dinner which i have not seen them for like 4 years. and the fact that i kept missing the last 2 years gathering means i must make time for this year's gathering.

picnic on the 13th was simply awesome. picked up sean from his house after nearly 2 rounds around the neighbourhood. bought some food from the rochor tau huey shop before setting up the map at the top of the flyer car park. since we the earliest, it looked so wrong to see two guys lying on the mat and just laughing to ourselves. it was worse when there were quite a number of good looking girls that walked past us.

jia hui the birthday boy and jojo came next. not long after, corrine the bully came. somehow, the usual topic of ncc never seem to bore all of us. with stories of corrine's childhood and sean's army life, there is always an endless laughter when we all meet up.

went home at 2 plus since i was the designated driver for the night, sending 4 people home. from clementi to bishan to yishun to jurong to finally choa chu kang. it was quite amazing that my dad didn't make any noise about the petrol. though he made noise about the low cashcard value. oh. and i found out that corrine stays near my old house. she stays in 979 i think and i stayed at 977.

thank god i moved out. else she would have bullied me.

the only minus point was that cheryl ma wasn't there. i hope you are doing fine with the loss. but there's always the next outing to look forward to.

next up was spec course. two words: fucking tired.

since i was the admin oic, work started like a day before spec course. did the nominal roll on sunday night which included the breaking up into 6 platoons. slept for 3 hours before being awaken by faz's phone call. went to hq at 2pm and was among the first to meet the new air TCO who is the same age as me and from acjc.

spent the whole day making copies of all the score sheets, nominal roll both in platoon and school level, hierarchy chart, contact list for instructors, bunk layout for the different platoons and air revision test papers. thank god for all the help given by the new cadet officers. spent the night doing all the certs. slept for 3 hours before being awaken by the swee brothers' alarm clocks.

like in previous camps, the first morning was a messy affair with all the strength not tallying, lost souls who stumbled into the camp and sick people who thought the ops room was a clinic. thought jia jun did a fantastic job in handling all the madness. we completed all the in processing by lunch.

since there were short of manpower on the first day, i did the assessment of IA stopages station. as a former cadet myself, i understand that sometimes i am too scared to ask my CLTs any questions since there were so fierce back then. but times have changed, i took my time and explained all in great detail. but i still got a lot of stupid cadets who got everything wrong. shall not in details but i fail about 75% of them.

had my first and last real sleep for the week the first night. jia jun and me were totally burnt out so we decided to do the admin work the next day since the whole course would be visiting SDC on the 2nd day. mark the gsk papers with such 'awesome' answers and keyed in the first set of results for the ifc and tf components.

and it was great to see jojo and jia hui on the 2nd night. talked about the course and of course laugh at all the nonsense the cadets do. plus there were a significant amount of casualties that night with the minor food poisoning. thought sgt khairul did a great job in writing the report in like a few hours.

slept at 5am on the 2nd night. thanks to the sorting out of certs. that took out like 3 hours. while jia jun had about an hour of sleep when the rest were marking the air test papers, i was busy laughing at all the silly answers in the test papers. woke up super late at 7am. not too sure if alvis was mad at me since i had to assess the tf station.

the last day was a complete madness. to key in all the scores by lunchtime and figuring out the respective award winners was simply unforgettable. if not jia jun's immense help, i might have just cracked under the pressure. and there was the the ranks to be put inside the certs before the graduation ceremony.by 3pm, all the admin work was done.

A BIG THANK YOU TO JIA JUN FOR ALL THE WORK YOU DID. with the shortage of manpower, your attitude certainly made my life easier in doing admin.

i must say that some of the 56th are slowly but surely making their mark as air cadet officers. though i can't say that for the rest. to walk the talk requires a great deal of hard work and good attitude.

i think i will need some time to get over the camp syndrome or PCS in jojo's world before i get back to studying. it has been a great (and sleepless) week. a week to go before the holidays end. gosh.

and as i am typing all these, my friends in poly have just entered national service. all the best to hariz (who was the first to enter in 5th june), fadhly, sanee, george, noor, jia qi and syukri. my turn will come soon. i hope so.

so many things to do but yet so little time.

all in my head

2009-06-07T21:18:00.007+08:00

some snapshots on friday and sunday.

ben&jerry's@dempsey hill

second cousin's wedding at johor.

tired from all the traveling. damn beat. let's hope my head won't bang anything tomorrow morning.

step in the name of love

2009-06-04T18:42:00.003+08:00

that's life.

just watched she's all that. for a record 10th time. i guessed i can never get sick of the show. more like i can never forget that iconic scene in the movie. remember the song kiss me? well it was made popular through that scene where the lead actress got her makeover and walked down the stairs in slow motion. rachel leigh cook was one hot woman back then.

or that scene in jerry maguire where tom cruise says the part you complete me and kelly preston saying she had him at hello. or when ryan gosling told rachel mcadams that he wrote to her every day of the year in the notebook. that kiss in the rain got an award for the best kiss in the mtv movie awards.

gah. i can do with such moments in my life.

ever wished your life was something like those dramas in television? like how problems can occur every now and then. but at the end of the day, you sort of have the solutions to it. and all is well and good once more. but if life were so much simpler and easy to plan out, i guessed there's no point living life since you know what and how is going to happen at the end of the day.

though i can always do with some solutions to a few of my problems.

"My momma always said, "Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get."' - Forrest Gump

talk about love

2009-06-01T18:18:00.003+08:00

you know you are old when,

you love backstreet boys and britney spears
you think ricky martin is cool
you watched and listened to s club 7
you danced to the song lemon tree
mariah carey was still skinny in your eyes
you played your music in discmans and cassette players
you stored your files in floppy discs
the cool pc game was mr pacman
you got in the fever of watching titanic
you played 'my heart will go on' on the recorder
hardy boys and nancy drew were cool detectives
the tetris game was the equivalent of the psp
your television sets were huge and heavy
you played on sega
kids as young as 8 are having handphones
and they have no clue what a pager is for
comfort taxis were light blue in colour
and they were small and light
if you remembered singa the lion
the only water amusement park was in sentosa
you had the zoologist or botanist or chemist
the PETS textbook was your english book
sengkang and punggol were one huge forest
you wanted to be the red ranger or zordon or alpha 5
you saw blackburn won the premier league
fandi ahmad was the person you wanted to be
lindsay lohan was one cute little blue eyed girl
you watched under one roof and growing up in channel 5
buffy the vampire slayer was the coolest drama
maybe perhaps sabrina the teenage witch was equally cool
jennifer lopez made your head turn like a rolling pin
singapore had one superhero - vr man
najip ali hosted the show asia bagus
before edward cullens, there was freddie prinze jr
biker mice from mars and captain planet were your must-see cartoons

i could go on and on. but i feel old enough. so if you feel old, its okay. if not, go get a life!

unintended

2009-05-30T11:05:00.003+08:00

hello!

hariz is busy. he has a lot work to do such as lab reports and tutorials. not to forget the revision papers for the upcoming mid semester tests. on top of that, he has to plan his brother's timetable for his june holidays since the brother had 'fantastic' results for the mid year exams.

for all the people hariz had met for the past week, he wants to let you know that he enjoyed the time spent with you people very much. for those he didn't get to meet, he apologises for the lack of time to meet up. he will make up for it in the coming weeks.

he misses all of his friends. but for the next few weeks, he is not going to update this blog that frequently. he wishes all in good health and full of happiness.

lots of love :)

love sexy magic

2009-05-23T00:10:00.005+08:00

a quick update.

school has been quite good so far. just 3 more practical sessions to go which is going to be done by the end of june. that will leave me with ample time to study for my mid semester tests. speaking of that, i am totally not ready for the tests. since i have not been able to concentrate in class sometimes due to the distraction of the psp. but i believe i have enough time to clear the tests.

exams are a totally different scenario.

i think singapore polytechnic has the best collection of movies for rental. and all for free. been hanging out the library more times than i ever been in the past month as compared to the last 3 years. with the great new televisions and the headphones, it is simply the best place to watch a movie other than the cinema. and i have been watching a great deal of movies for the past 3 weeks.

allow me to list it all out for you.
- georgia rule
- bridget jones
- bridget jones: edge of reason
- 10 things i hate about you
- down with love
- rumour has it
- the break up
- bride wars
- million dollar baby

to make it worse (i think), i have been watching movies at the cinema since the start of the monthl. almost every week.
- x men origins: wolverine
- jangan tegur
- star trek
- angels and demons (twice)
- night at the museum 2

and i am definitely catching terminator, harry potter and transformers at the cinema. so i guess i need to have a tighter control on my hunger for good food.

sigh. i need more money. i am so broke now.

and i do realize i have no life. but i am such a sucker for such romantic comedies and chick flicks.

I AM CURRENTLY IN LOVE WITH RENEE ZELLWEGER. she is so sweet looking. can't stop looking at her.

EDITED @ 1900hrs

this morning's selections went horribly wrong. i totally screwed up my starting and ending. did not sedia myself when giving the command and did not senang diri at the end of it. shucks. it sucks real bad. was so feeling lousy that i did not bother looking at the rest of the selections. but like what jiahui said, we did our best and give our all. at least if i can take some consolation in becoming the prize steward once again.

and i wish air district had less competitors. but then again, i kind of proud of the district that i am in. cause air cadet officers are always enthusiastic with everything and anything. thanks to the 'overwhelming response' by the other districts, corrine got her 2ic post like just 5 minutes worth of me convincing her to go for it. my brother also got the contingent commander's post as well. there were more competitors in air than any other districts.

well done air district.

AND CORRINE LOW OWE ME A MUDPIE AND JIAHUI BEN AND JERRY'S. WE SHALL BE WAITING FOR IT YOU TWERP. NONSENSE.

happiness is a warm gun

2009-05-17T12:24:00.004+08:00

nonsense.

i think i have spoken that word more than a million times this week. since i am forbidden to say any degrading words by someone or anything rude, this is the next best word i can think of when i am not happy with something. and it's not that bad for a word. i mean it does not not offend a person that much and at the same time it's a lower degree of insult to a certain extent.

but it still have the same purpose like just as any other offending words i used to say.

late night movie with the matin and shasha on thursday night. with the addition of my brother and exception of fahrul. though it was a bit the last minute all thanks to matin's brilliance and his 'strength' to reply to messages, the outing was not that bad after all. the movie was better than the first one although certain plot elements from the book were not included in the movie. still, it was a good attempt by the director and the script writers. came home at 3 plus in the morning.

thank god there was no school on friday.

met fadhly after friday prayers to help him top up his bbdc account. poor dude got no nets or cashcard. went to lot one after that to have lunch before faz joined us halfway through. watched the same movie again in the same day. AND I HAD FUN! and i sincerely mean it. plus i will bite your finger when i have the chance. my finger nail was in blue black when i came home. not to forget you still owe me something.

strings concert at vjc.

never thought afzal would invite me to his concert. but me and wei jiang still managed to catch it. though we were an hour late since we took our time to eat dinner at far east. and we watched it for free as we sneaked in during intermission and just sat beside afzal's sister. unlike many other band concerts that i have been to, i would say it was refreshing to enjoy a different style of music that night. usually, band music are very loud and can quite get into your face. but last night's concert was soothing to the ear with pieces such as phantom of the opera and egor.

talked to afzal for a while after the concert. managed to get an update with his life and a few others. it's amazing when you can just start the conversation with ease though we have not seen each other for months. sigh. i miss my classmates all of a sudden. too bad shawn and linton did not come. wei jiang had to entertain my 'nonsense' the whole night. especially with the many jc girls that night to look at. haha.

my nephew's birthday party.

came late since i attended the concert before that. kind of pity the younger cousins as they got a lecture from matin. with his sarcastic comments and shasha adding more fuel to the fire, i thought they should not get that much negative remarks. but i did not anything to help them. heh. instead i was busy playing with the birthday boy and his chubby elder brother. with the usual gossiping of the cousins by the elders, it felt like any other family gathering.

ever get the feeling that you are thankful for everything that have happened in your life. like out of the blue, the realization hits you. the kind of feeling where you just had to appreciate the people that matter most in your life. saying i-love-you to let them know and at the same time feel at ease with yourself.

that day was yesterday.

and i so hate it if izzie and/or george die.

"Did you say it? 'I love you. I don't ever want to live without you. You changed my life.' Did you say it? Make a plan. Set a goal. Work toward it, but every now and then, look around; Drink it in 'cause this is it. It might all be gone tomorrow." - Meredith Grey

let's have a party

2009-05-13T22:58:00.006+08:00

"what are we doing in school again?"

some snap shots taken in school today.

point of information. i am the only one in the group that does not smoke. though the pictures tell a different story. and they are heavy smokers as well. not to mention they smoke at all the weird places in school. and like some unwritten law, it's like everybody else smokes at the same places as well.

i swear that i did not know of such places till i met these people.

but they are a fun lot of people. though all of us (me included) should stop playing psp during lectures.

ncc day parade coming. one last hurrah?

"As doctors we can’t undo our mistakes, and we rarely forgive ourselves for them, but it’s a hazard of the trade. But as human beings we can always try to do better, to be better, to re-write a wrong even if it feels irreversible. Of course, “I’m sorry” doesn’t always cut it. Maybe because we use it so many different ways: as a weapon, as an excuse. But when we are really sorry. When we use it right. When we mean it. When actions say what words never can. When we get it right, “I’m sorry” is perfect. When we get it right, “I’m sorry” is redemption." - Meredith Grey

simple things

2009-05-12T20:52:00.004+08:00

10 years.

"i believe in true love. i believe in love at first sight. i believe love conquers all. that doesn't mean that there's not going be hard days or difficult things to deal with because there will be. but finding that person and knowing that person loves you back just makes everything so much easier." - haley james scott

make me believe in it.

my prerogative

2009-05-09T11:26:00.004+08:00

procrastination.

i actually wanted to blog on wednesday and friday. but due to unforeseen circumstances, i did not manage to blog on the respective days. though it was a simple case of putting forward the idea of typing and spend more time doing ridiculous things such as watching comedies and reading through fan club forums.

been watching a great deal of comedies lately. there's the evergreen friends and the going to be popular how i met your mother. it's damn hilarious when you hear that puns and jokes. can never get enough of the shows. i do watch two and a half men sometimes. then you also have the dramas such as one tree hill, grey's anatomy and the mentalist. the latter just started and got me hooked recently. not to mention the movies that i download every now and then. i guessed i don't need cable tv when i have the internet.

thank god for the invention of the internet.

and of as yesterday, i am a forum member in celebrity fan clubs of agnes monica, justin timberlake, taufik batisah, hady mirza, emma watson, amanda bynes and britney spears. not to forget the other online forums which i am too lazy to list it down here. the thrill of reading news of the celebrities just excites me. kind of makes me wonder how loser i am when i read the interesting things people do for a living. the amount of money they earn at such age simply makes me real jealous of them.

gosh. i want to earn money just like them.

went out with fadhly and rahim on wednesday since i ended school at 10am. had lunch at far east at the usual makan place. caught the movie x-men:origins before playing pool at paradiz centre. a thing to note was that all 3 of us went to the perfume section at some shop just to make ourselves smell nice. such a cheap thing to do though it was real fun. was joined by matin and fahrul when we headed out to the national museum. cool place to go with all the interesting exhibits. great stuff which i did not know that existed in singapore.

camwhored with the cousins when fadhly and rahim left while waiting for kakak shasha to arrive. rotted at burger's king before catching the lame horror movie, jangan tegur. then had a sleepover at matin's house since kakak shasha got freaked out by the movie real bad all thanks to fahrul's constant annoyance.

thanks to fadhly and rahim for that long awaited day out. had a lot of fun with whatever nonsense we had and the photos at the museum. especially the one with the flash. shopping for clothes should be considered for the next outing. haha. or better still if i can get the vroom vroom as fadhly describes it. then we can all go to anywhere in singapore. can be jb if fadhly can get his passport done in real quick time.

cousins' outing real soon? since the two big ones are on holidays now. i will be waiting.

thursday night at island creamery was not that bad after all. though i must say it was rather short. but with jia hui doing his usual nonsense, it was enjoyable. not to forget corrine's sudden silence was a big deal. she even wanted to cry at one point of time. the scene of the night has got to be jojo's ability to do simple math calculation. classic.

met up with faz on friday for lunch. the walking around after that can be compared to walking in a jungle without a compass and a map. that means walking around aimlessly. so it was rather exciting when she suggested watching a movie. settled on star trek. i must admit that it was real good. the best action packed movie so far this year. felt rather bad when i left in a rush since i was late.

i have just given you a perfect excuse to meet me again. let's just say that i am not that 'eager' to get the money back.

school's been real fun. if not for the nonsense from you-know-who, i am really enjoying school. on the track to becoming the best semester i have ever had so far. hopefully.

ahhh.

slow jam

2009-05-04T20:37:00.002+08:00

a week's gone.

school has been taking up most of my time. though i don't have exams, i sure do have a lot to digest for the first few chapters of the modules that i am taking. for the first time since my secondary school days, i have been trying to read my notes like every now and then. it'll be good if i can understand what i read but that's not the case most of the time. to make it worse, the lecturers are like talking in a lullaby or in a weird taiwainese accent. thank god for the practical component since it makes up 40% of the overall assessment.

my new classmates seem to enjoy football very much. been playing a lot of football in the past week. and it extends to the pro evolution soccer game on the psp as well. it seems that my gaming skills which is only applicable to soccer games is not that rusty after all. managed to get a couple of wins from the many losses that i got. i must say that the game console do play a part in the controls of the game.

i got to train up. both on court and psp.

the amazing race went rather well. clearly evident from the faces, the parents seemed to enjoy the whole event. though the other cousins might not be that enthusiastic as the elder ones, the event was a success. from the taking of photo with the merlion to the science quizzes to the traditional games at botanical gardens to the final pit stop at west coast park, i believe everyone had a lot of fun driving around.

photos are in facebook. i am lazy to upload it here.

ahh. talking about uploading photos. it is SUPER LAGGG to upload photos in facebook. gosh. i spent 3 hours just to upload 43 photos. how pathetic is that.

on a random note, i kind of have a sudden liking for girls who play sports. makes them look sport and fit and healthy. and i like that. plus if the girl is that fit, she can go running with me. gosh. then i will have a running buddy of the opposite sex. cool.

mind me. due to sudden interest in watching friends, i have been thinking like joey for the past few days.

i wish i had a lot to blog about. but frankly speaking, life's been rather straight forward. it's only school, eat, sleep, football, dramas and music. i need to do something fun and out of the norm. so someone please take me out for anything. be it visiting geylang or going to strip clubs, i am game for anything. i plead for anyone to step forward and ask me out. else, i might just get the next ticket out to mexico city to experience 'death-defying' experience.

please hire me sim hui.

yours truly. mr sexyback.

i believe

2009-04-27T21:34:00.002+08:00

I FINALLY GOT MY HANDS ON THE LIMITED EDITION CD. WOOOHOOO! I AM SO DAMN HAPPY NOW.

thanks hidz.

in other news, i played street soccer for the first time in 5 months. and i am glad to say that my skills are not that rusty as i thought it may be. even managed to score a volley which was quite impressive since my jeans were like quite tight. looking forward to more matches with my new soccer buddies.

and to fadhly: get out of the house. then you'll not think of her that much. do something that will take your mind off her in the mean time. i'll be here if you need me.

homecoming

2009-04-25T17:26:00.005+08:00

shagged.

it doesn't help when you have to wake up at 0600 hours every morning since class starts at 0800 hrs. it's made worse when my body clock is still screwed up as i am always sleeping at around 2 plus in the morning. coupled with two evening jogging sessions , i think i am supposed to be tired. but then, i can still find time to do all kinds of stuff.

take the family day for example. i stayed up till midnight for the past two nights just to plan and tidy up all the details. not that i am fussy or anything, i just like to do this kind of things. kind of fascinated to see the plans that you have translate into action. and i also kind of admire matin for his ability to plan stuff for the cousins in my maternal side. since i am the only one in my paternal side to 'apprentice' under matin and execute this kind of stuffs, i thought it'll be good to take the initiative to plan the event for my paternal side.

i think it's going to be fun. lots of effort were put in. let's hope the response will be encouraging.

but good news is that my running have improved quite a bit. still think i can do better though. and the fact that my brother is still better than me is making me more determined to clock more running time and improve at the same time. so for those interested to know, i clock my runs lately. my personal bests so far:

1.6km - 08:45:23
2.4km - 11:50:45
5.0km - 26:26:03

anyway, it seems that a lot of my non-ns friends have gotten their enlistment date. like wei jiang is going to commando. then you have my other cousin being posted to guards. or you have others entering in june since their fitness level are of not acceptable standards yet in the eyes of mindef.

well, i am jealous actually. not that i am crazy or anything to be of national slave (NS). but i just like the adventure and the thrill of it. believe it or not, i get immense satisfaction when i complete a certain impossible-to-complete tasks. words alone cannot describe the experience that kind of thing. sigh. i guess i have to wait for that letter patiently.

my second family.

i really miss all of them. i can never forget all the gay stuff we ever did in class. not to mention the unlimited senseless talk after school hours. or the many different wars in class such as paper ball, bottle caps, paper planes and many others. nothing in my life right now can match up to those kind of experiences i had in those two years.

an environment where you can be carefree and not worry about people having two face impressions on you. we were all like brothers. despite the many fights we had in class, all were quickly forgiven and forget. no grudges. no ill thoughts. nothing. start afresh after that.

but alas, the world outside is not that kind of perfect place. it's a cold place where bitterness and hated exists. where people have to constantly be engaged in a constant fight to survival to be the best. no such word as mercy exists in their dictionary. unexpectedly, it's that kind of harsh conditions that have led me to look for answers.

thus, i went back to my alma mater.

actually the real reason to come back was to witness the farewell parade of the longest serving teacher officer in my unit. having served sji for the past 15 years (i think), he has decided to retire from teaching. and he's going to spend some time overseas when he retires. all the best mr tung. you no longer have to take attendance anymore. haha.

so while waiting for the parade to start and wei jiang to arrive, i happened to walk past a few classrooms. and it so coincidental that mrs ho was in the class. and she was having some chit chat session since it was the admin period. plus half the class was gone as they were having their annual photo taking for the school annual magazine.

like the typical me, i waved like a mad man in her direction. imagine my surprise, she actually saw and gestured me to enter the class. so i got in and instantly i felt quite right at home. i actually sat down and chatted with the class. like not to worry too much about o levels and making the right choices in life after leaving sji. and the best part was that mrs ho introduced me as her best buddy. for that moment, i really felt honoured and touched. such a waste that i didn't get to talk to her after that.

hang out with mr gary sim after the parade at the staff room. it's funny when he could remember my name and that he couldn't remember wei jiang's name. and he kind of forget some of my classmates' names as well. thank god for the photo frame that we gave him as a gift on the last day of school. had a good time chatting with him and his sarcastic comments. and he also showed a profile of his former student in cedar sec on facebook. simply hilarious.

as i am typing this blog post, i can't stop thinking about wei jiang said at the bus stop when we on the way home. no matter where we go, you'll just feel right at home the moment when you step into sji. it's like your comfort zone where nothing can possibly go wrong for you. and there's no better place in the world than in sji. how true indeed.

i want to go back 'home'.

check yes juliet

2009-04-21T20:36:00.005+08:00

phew.

i think my running, swimming and cycling during the holidays was not a bad investment after all. cause it has made me a much fitter person. at least that's what i think in my own opinion. i don't feel lethargic that much and somehow the ability to have little sleep but yet can still do work as per normal.

thus, i am not complaining with the amount of work coming in for me. it's the first week of school and already there are so much things to be done. and since i have less things to worry about like fyp and bitchy classmates, i find school enjoyable for the first time in many months. i can now somehow listen to lectures without fear of falling asleep. take today for example, the morning lecture was killing a lot of the third years with PST going through the driest topics in QAS. but i surprised myself when i didn't even close my eyes for a second. and i even took notes. wonderful.

made new friends with the third year malay guys. funny lame people. perhaps like all malay guys, we had one thing in common. and that was football. and this time round, i'll try not to screw up with the new friends that i have. like the old saying goes - twice bitten, once shy.

and another first was that i already started on the assignment. not that i am completing it or anything. but i did a 'little' reading up to get an idea of what the topic is all about. though i have yet to form a group, i want to make myself useful for once.

oh. having turn over a 'new' leaf, went to see TKE to ask about some stuff regarding the new syllabus. not that i want to carry his balls or anything, but rather i didn't want to get a new set of notes. somehow, i managed to impress the guy with my 'newfound' enthusiasm. another first for me in many months. and the guy seemed to have more white hairs this semester. hmm.

moving on.

i decided to forgo BAC. i simply cannot do so many things in one month. with MSTs after the 3 week break, i need to set aside time to revise. then i have IACE inbound to settle. then of course, my dear primary school friend msn-ed me to help her organise a reunion for the class. not to forget assignments also. oh. cpt angela wants me to be there for spec course since alvin might most prolly go to BAC.

but my first main priority now is to plan the family outing for my father's side next coming friday. kak runni, kak farah and me have decided on the amazing race and bbq. amazingly, the parents have been positive about the idea. that includes my mum who didn't even complain about the idea.

so the whole point is to make the 'senior citizens' drive around, looking for clues and solving riddles which is related to the family. the final pit stop will be of course, the venue for the bbq. the younger cousins will tag along with the parents and at the same time help to record those moments in the car so as to compile into a video. somehow, i think the idea sounds good. but the planning of it might kill the 3 of us.

praying for it to be a success.

i know people are sick of me talking about agnes monica all the time. but i don't think i will blog about her for this post. BUT i might have big news soon. watch this space.

oh yea. CONGRATS TO JOJO on her promotion. since you blog about me in pink, this brown is for you. since your shoes and school uniform are brown. no link i know. but who cares. haha.

was watching friends the other day about ross and rachel getting back together. though it didn't last long, phoebe said something about the both of them which made me ponder for a while. it was about rachel being ross's lobster. that no matter what happens to the both of them, rachel will come back to ross since they are fated to be together. somehow, i felt connected to the moment. or maybe i am just a sucker for such things.

alright. i need to do my powerpoint slides now. bye!

give me just one night

2009-04-19T15:07:00.007+08:00

"Society and its ideal average, normal mediocrity with its pleasing, mannerly, commonplace platitudes may have its fling of jeering at genius for not conforming to social usage and for breaking away from the well-trodden paths of social ruts. Far more effective and deadly are the stones of ridicule cast by the hand of genius at the Philistine Goliath, strong in his brute social power, but dull of wits. Social laughter is momentary, soon burns itself out and passes away like the fire and smokes of straw, but genius shakes the very skies with it lasting, inextinguishable laughter." - Boris Sidis

laughter.

it's simply amazing to be able to forget about your problems and troubles by just laughing away. the fact that you can just be yourself and not worry about offending others cause it's all in the name of fun. to meet up with friends and just laugh ourselves silly is something that i can just do time and time again. the feeling of being so carefree and having immense fun is indescribable. the past 2 days were exceptionally great.

played pool with fadhly at beauty world in the late friday morning. in actual fact, we were both looking for a lan shop to play counter strike. but then, we could only managed to find a pool shop. so with the both of us having not played for a few months, all of shots were off target. but the exception of one fact was that fadhly's ability to hit 'tyco' and 'amazing' shots was still kept intact. there was once when the cue ball just flew off the table and another was that he managed to pocket 4 balls in succession. great gaming session.

met up with faz and hariz after that. or more like i waited for them for about half an hour. since i got a bit pissed off, i went to get a haircut only to find them waiting for me when i was about to sit on the barber's chair. ate at swensen's since they wanted to treat me. nothing much happened, though the ice cream was super sweet for my own liking.

then the 3 of us just walked around jurong point to supposedly look for my birthday gift. faz kept insisting that she wants to buy me a gift though i don't find the need to received one though. after more than an hour of walking around, went back home to sleep. i think i slept like a dead log cause i overslept, causing me to be late for the meeting with jojo and the rest.

rushed to get ready in which i almost left the house without the car keys. called cheryl and found out i wasn't the only one to not have reached yet. almost got lost with directions at vivocity before finally meeting the whole lot of them. dinner at mussel guys were great. with the endless ncc talk and lame stories to share, dinner lasted about an hour.

took a couple of photos outside vivocity. and i got a clock that says you are sexy as a birthday present from them which i thought it was kind of cool since i am sexy anyway. haha. laughed here and there before i sent the 4 of them home since sean got his dad to fetch him. drove to bishan to yishun to bukit panjang before heading home. and as usual, jia hui used the 'precious' time to tell us one of his infamous stories.

reached home at the midnight mark. slept for nearly 10 hours after that.

drove to jb on saturday night. as usual, you get a lot of formula one drivers on their roads. with the roads having alot of twists and turns, even the big lorry drivers were in the mood to speed that night. had a seafood dinner while enjoying the live football match on the big projector screen. at the same time, had the car washed inside out. all for four singapore dollars which is super cheap.

sometimes, i loathe driving with my mum. she will complain about every aspect of my driving. from managing the corner to the beating of the red light. and when my dad asked her to take driving license to understand, she would often brushed off and say that it will be a waste of money and that she rather be driven than drive.

so much for complaining. sigh.

i think getting birthday presents is a secondary thing in my own opinion. the primary concern for me is the company of people i get to enjoy. the time spent with your loved ones and friends is simply priceless. perhaps a simple birthday card is suffice to be given as a birthday present. after all, i feel the greatest birthday presents are your families and friends. nothing ever comes close to that.

me and my sexy clock. the rest of the pics are on facebook.

oh yea. i caught agnes on tv the other night. great song and dance routine. and i might be lucky after all. the guy at muzika records said that he might import in the limited edition album. woohoo!

i'll light up a candle

2009-04-16T13:48:00.004+08:00

aftermath.

a year older. with that, i wish for maturity, strength, health, happiness and wisdom. no more repeats of mistakes. no more childish acts. no more insensitive remarks. i will learn to appreciate people better regardless of who they are. for there is no prizes and advantages in hurting people.

just want to say thank you to all who wished me happy birthday yesterday. be it belated or not, its the thought that counts. be it on msn, sms or on facebook, i felt blessed since people bothered to say happy birthday.

thank you to wei jiang, linton and jia qi for the dinner treat at manahattan's fish market at plaza singapura. though it was quite last minute, i certainly did had a lot of fun meeting you guys. especially with the endless jokes we have every time we meet up. of course, the starbucks after that was equally good. thanks for the chocolate cereal. i havent eat it yet though.

thank you to fadhly and rahim for the lunch treat at tong seng coffeeshop. the food tasted better that day. haha. the walk around in that new shopping mall was great (i forgot the name of the shopping centre already). hopefully before you guys enlist, we shall go for a shopping date and catch a movie at the new film distributor. oh yea. the hilarious and 'competitive' counter strike session must be repeated in the near future.

thank you to wak mini and family and bik tini and family for taking time off to come down to causeway point. of course, the buffet spread seems endless. and with big eaters around, it was no surprise that we spent more than 2 hours at seoul garden. if we were allowed to stay longer and finish the food available, i think the whole lot can do it without breaking a sweat.

and since i was the birthday boy, i became a member at seoul garden. so whoever wants a discount of up to 10% at seoul garden, please come look for me.

looking forward to this friday. outing with faz and hariz during the day and outing with sean, jojo, jia hui, cheryl and riley during the night. more post-birthday fun hopefully.

once again, thank you to those who remembered and bothered.

i love you.

living on a prayer

2009-04-11T12:48:00.003+08:00

good deeds.

a day more to easter. i may not be a christian or catholic but i did celebrate easter for 4 years in my life. my secondary school life to be exact.

i remembered the washing of feet on thursday's morning assembly. the principal would often washed the cleaner's feet. then there will be the sprinkle of holy water on the students which i would dodge with shouts of laughter. then the following monday, the school will be giving out easter buns to every student in the school. there will be those who dont like the buns which in turn will profit people like me who gets to eat more than one bun. but the best part about these two days is that the teachers rarely got angry.

talking about secondary school. there was one year where i brought the quran to school. while the rest were reciting the lord's prayer and some other prayers, i was happily reading the quran along with some of my classmates. and i remembered mrs ho commenting about how good a muslim i was. such things rarely happen in the current world now. sigh.

i miss celebrating easter.

thursday night was a blast. only to be ruined with the wasted trip to island creamery. the company was great. the food was great. the parade was great. had a lot of fun meeting up with the young and old. taufik from the 45th intake was also there to enjoy the free food. regardless of the different set of friends i had that night, i enjoyed my time with them and feel really blessed to have such friends.

congrats to the newly graduated cadet officers for making it through. congrats to jojo as well for getting the exclusive rank.

and i hope asilah do not post her camera's photos on facebook or anything. stupid brother of mine keep snapping photos of me with jojo. what the hell.

good friday was indeed a good friday. it was cousins' time as kak runni put in her own words. for the first time in a long time, all the cousins came and gathered for the kenduri. with the exception of the eldest brother that is. but their absence wasn't really missed. the food was wonderful since there was my favourite ayam lemak cili padi and the tulang. even my father's kampung buddy came.

and i found out that syafiq is in the same school as danish my other cousin. and both are in the same cca. though both are in different streams. plus faiz amazed all of us with his talent in dancing techtonik (not sure about the spelling). the bugger could actually do the same moves as the video in his phone. simply awesome. to think that we thought he was childish back then. he has certainly grown up.

well done faiz. just don' turn into a mat that's all.

i think i haven't got a real purpose in life yet. every day seems like a routine. the same old faces and places. i wanted to be different. i wanted to be a somebody. but yet nothing has changed so far.

i have got to straighten things out.

you know what i want.

the actor

2009-04-08T18:17:00.002+08:00

philematology.

sometimes, multi tasking can lead to bad consequences. such feelings when emitted can cause one's mind to wander for a while which can then lead undesirable repercussions. to convey such affection are better left when the mood calls for it in which the time, place and environment are factors to be considered.

it will not happen again.

life has been very mundane the past few days. ever since the 'tragic' incident, i don't feel like going out. with the exception of going running and buying food for lunch, i have been cooped up at home. in comparison to my cousins and friends who are mugging away for their semester examinations, i am slacking away.

it's funny when at such times like these, i just wish that i can go back to school and do assignments and tutorials. but when i actually do go back to school, i'll be like procrastinating most of the work and be wishing that the holidays will come sooner instead of later.

at least i can have some comfort in going out tomorrow. let's hope the gathering will have a bigger turnout than the previous one. i miss the days i had to mark the journals. i miss the days i will be seating at the back of the theatrette. i miss the days when im just talking nonsense with cpt jack and jojo. sigh. as much as i want to be optimistic about tomorrow, i doubt most of them will bother to come down.

if not, i think i rather go out with jojo and sean. we'll go to island creamery and eat all the home-made ice cream there. i want to eat the nutella and milo flavours. and since sosweetsirsean has sent me an email asking when we can ever go out again, it has lead me to think - when is our supposedly picnic going to happen?

then you have my sji friends who are so bored in life that they want to shoot each other with their SAR21. they claim that the army has taken away their freedom and mind, subjecting them to undesirable effects. adding to their woes, jon chua and wei jiang are happily spending their backpacking in thailand now. i thought i heard linton swore so loudly that both of them could hear him from the hotel.

perhaps we should just go to ecp and emo at the newly renovated bedok jetty. buy some hot butterfly buns and soya bean drinks as well. and since we got a newly commissioned driver, we should make use of him and let us ride in his dad's car. yeah man.

at one corner, my sp friends have been waiting for more car rides from me. i feel guilty of not being able to drive them out. due to the fact that they have been supportive of me in taking the license. i shall make it point to slot in more driving time for them. especially for fadhly who has been dropping me hints like how he wants to be driven around. fret not. i WILL take you guys out for a spin some time soon.

watched the hong kong film last night - turn left turn right. though the ending was such a cliche, i somehow felt attracted to the movie. to not be able to see and feel the one that you love is really heart wrenching. gosh.

i am so in the mood for love.

"Generations unfold — father to son, mother to daughter. Where one leaves off, the other follows, destined to repeat each other's mistakes, each other's triumphs. For how do we see the world if not through their lens? The same fears, the same desires? Do we see them as an example to follow, or as a warning of what to avoid? Choosing to live as they have, simply because it's what we know, or driven to create one's own identity? And what happens when we find them to be a disappointment? Can we replace them? Our mothers, our fathers? Or will destiny find a way to drive us back? Back to the familiar comforts of home?" - Mohinder Suresh, Heroes

try again

2009-04-05T01:29:00.005+08:00

4 months.

time do indeed past by very fast. just when i could start the year proper, i realized that i am already 4 months behind. and by the time i get down to work, i will be hitting the dreaded big two-0. just in case you havent been getting emails from friendster of facebook, i am going to be a year older soon.

since it's just 10 days away, i might as well list the things that i want for the year. hopefully if you think you can help me achieve some of the listed items, then i sincerely appreciate any form of help in any way.

BASIC AIRBORNE COURSE
trip to australia
new watch
NEW RUNNING SHOES
end of tke's teaching
army half marathon
new balance real run
STANDARD CHARTERED MARATHON
sleeq's album - in the q
mark bonafide self-titled album
AGNES MONICA'S 3RD ALBUM - SACREDLY AGNEZIOUS

looking at the list, i hope you know what are the more important ones that i crave for. heh.

i can't seem to get the news into my head. my 'dear' friend has just told me that the shops in her town has run out of copies of agnes's latest album. what the hell. i shall go crazy if i can't get my hands on the album. and with the members of the fan club strongly opposing piracy and none willing to share the songs online, i am left with no other alternative.

i shall get on the next flight to jakarta. yea right hariz.

as of now, i am tasked with 2 'big' projects.

first up is mr tung's farewell parade/ceremony (no idea what they really want). mr melvin ho requires my 'expertise' in parades/ceremonies. and since the outgoing teacher has been serving the unit for the past 20 years, i guessed he deserves a proper send off. hopefully something memorable so that he can reminiscence about his time in sji. and mr MH wants the hip hip hooray thing as well. omfg.

i think i can pull this one off quite easily.

next 'big' thing is the iace inbound. i realized i have been helping out in the past 3 years. but it was quite surprising that alvin asked me if i could take the lead this year. with that amount of experience, i hope i can make this year a bigger success than last year. it seems that cpt angela has a lot of ideas for the itinerary this year. but i am facing a big problem.

it seems that no one is interested to be part of the committee. i desperately need people to assist me in making the program work. blame it on the schedule. right smack before the holidays. and i need to hold a meeting soon as well. to discuss the finer details and all.

CALLING ALL AIR CADET OFFICERS. PLEASE MSG/EMAIL/CALL ME IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN ATTENDING IACE INBOUND 2009.

sometimes i think aunties like to start a conversation just for the sake of having a conversation. for example, i met my neighbour at the supermarket this morning.

auntie: ahh. hariz. what are you doing her.
me: erm.
auntie: (cut in) buying stuff from the supermarket? eggs? butter? newspaper?
me: erm.
auntie: (cut in again) how's your mother? is she working today?
me: erm. yah. sorry. (pretend to call)

i mean if i am at a supermarket means i am bound to buy groceries right? i can't possibly buy petrol or optical mouse or solution for my contacts. and she wouldn't even let me answer her questions. so what's the point of asking me such questions. somehow i feel my mum falls under the same category as well.

oh wells.

shots from agnes monica's latest album. taken in singapore.

a.g.n.e.z

2009-04-02T11:20:00.006+08:00

triathlon.

did the 3 disciplines yesterday. not that i am crazy or anything. thought it will be refreshing to try something different in building up my fitness. since i just started out, i have been struggling the whole time. but the sense of satisfaction is still there.

i think it's all about mental strength. the body might tell you that you are tired. but if your mind call tell the body otherwise, then the body can do more than what you cannot ever imagine.

i think i like doing it.

and i need a bike. have to stop borrowing from people.

moving on.

camp feast was fine i suppose. had to constantly remind the seniors not to blow off their top so easily. not that the juniors were doing a bad job in doing things. but i guessed they need some time to adjust in making the transition to a cadet officer. what they might need is a little more of respect and initiative. i am not trying to be biased here but most of the 54th still calls me sir hariz and that they often asked the seniors if they are doing their job properly.

perhaps it's just 3 months into the year. hopefully as time progress, things will change.

just an observation that i want to highlight during the camp.

during the aar on the first night, everyone was sitting on the floor including me, alvin and cpt angela. all of us were sitting facing riley who was sitting on the bench since she was the oic. but there was one person who was not listening to the aar. what was worse was that she was sitting behind the oic's back and playing with her handphone. thought it was kind of rude and disrespectful to do that.

what kind of an example is that?

not that i don't like, but i am against these kind of actions. you got to be in ncc long enough to know what are the type of things she has done. just hope people can think about it thoroughly before passing judgement on her.

on a lighter side.

taufik introduced me this korean group full of hot girls.

i am addicted to the song. and their cheorography is very sharp and precise. it's hard to imagine that most of the girls are younger than me. it seems that the age of these great talents are getting younger and younger. these girls came to singapore last year to perform. since they are going international soon, wish them all the best and good luck with that. i think they can make the grade.

i want nobody nobody but you.

watched the launching of agnes monica's latest album on tv last night. all i can say about the quality of the songs was that it was simply fantastic. she sounded a bit of beyonce, rihanna, britney spears and lady gaga. she's indeed serious about going international and making it to the american market. her songs are brilliantly composed in which i think anyone can get hooked to it. and there were a few of her old songs given a makeover to make it sound more in-trend. gosh. she's damn good. and she's so cute please.

with that, i appeal to anyone out there to help me get her latest album. i will pay big bucks just to get my hands on her new album. check out her album's front and back cover. both taken in singapore. how cool is that.

some of her best performances from her great songs.

lost

2009-03-27T00:34:00.004+08:00

words.

easily the most powerful weapon one could ever have if used to one's advantage. it is an art that leaders posses to manipulate or influence the people around him. often, the words are carefully choses so as to heighten the mood. to lift the people around him so as to attain the same amount of self confidence he has and ensure continuity.

but even then. if words could become bullets, an outbreak of war is imminent.

in tribute to their great performance last monday night.

Just because I'm losing,
Doesn’t mean I'm lost,
Doesn't mean I'll stop
Doesn't mean I will cross

Just because I'm hurting,
Doesn’t mean I'm hurt,
Doesn’t mean I didn't get what I deserved,
No better and no worse

I just got lost
Every river that I tried to cross,
Every door I ever tried was locked
Oh and I’m just waiting ‘til the shine wears off

You might be a big fish
In a little pond,
Doesn’t mean you’ve won
‘Cause along may come
A bigger one

And you’ll be lost,
Every river that you tried to cross,
Every gun you ever held went off
Oh and I’m just waiting 'til the firing stopped
Oh and I’m just waiting ‘til the shine wears off

Aha, I gotcha, uh...
With the same sword they knight you, they gon' good night you with
Shit, that's only half if they like you
That ain't even the half what they might do
Don't believe me? ask Michael
See Martin, see Malcolm
See Biggie, see Pac, see success and its outcome
See Jesus, see Judas
See Caesar, see Brutus, see success is like suicide
Suicide, it's a suicide
If you succeed, prepare to be crucified
Media meddles, niggas sue you, you settle
Every step you take, they remind you you ghetto
So it's tough being Bobby Brown
To be Bobby then, you have to be Bobby now
And the question is, is to have had and lost,
Better than not having at all?
Because I'm...

Oh and I, just waiting ‘til the shine wears off
Oh and I, just waiting ‘til the shine wears off

river man

2009-03-25T23:07:00.002+08:00

invincibility

that feeling of greatness. where no actions or words can bring you down. no other person except yourself is your greatest enemy. to do anything out of your own free will without worrying about anything. to be oblivious to what is happening around you.

such a trait that even the best hypocrites find it hard to master. not many are known to possess a priceless quality.

and that honour goes to someone i met today.

what a great dose of arrogance to add to it.

chasing pavements

2009-03-24T21:43:00.003+08:00

"When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing, and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares," - Henri Nouwen

at the end of a dark day, you can easily distinguish who are your real friends from the fake friends. ones who are sincerely concerned about you. like they are worried about you when you are off the grid or concerned about the status of your life at any point of time.

i can never thank you enough.

went jogging with clement this morning. though we didnt really actually run together, it was still a great workout. should start running in boots if i were to train for my airborne selection trial. had some small talk at the fitness corner before going back home which was kind of lucky as it rained a few minutes after that.

dont worry clement. you will one day keep pace with me. provided we keep on running and running. haha. you are not that old.

and it was kind of great to be at home today as there was a music show which was celebrating their first year anniversary. it was live on tv for 4 hours i think. and there were more than 50 performers on the show.

like a true indonesian freak i am, i knew most of the performers. there were acts by ungu, st12, marcell, letto, pasto, sandy canester, the changcuters, radja, bbb, kangen band, project pop, mulan jameela and lots more. of course, my darling was there as well. she performed her latest single. gosh. i am really in love with her.

and i just heard a song which had only 7 words in it. literally 7 freaking words. go check it out. it's not a malay song - i just wanna say i love you by potret.

i think the ability to feel the soul of the music is amazing. like when agnes monica was singing, i actually cried just by listening to the lyrics and the music. to be able to be in sync with the song and feel the hairs on your hand and back stand was a great feeling.

i am a sucker for such ballads.

built to last

2009-03-22T12:58:00.002+08:00

like finally right?

i know i have been missing from the face of the earth for the past one week. sort of busy with camp and me wanting some time alone.

advanced drills course was great. that greatness extends only to platoon 5 instructors and trainees. not that i am biased or anything. but platoon 5 had that kind of exclusive-ness as it was the the cadet officers platoon.

other instructors kept asking me whether it was easy to handle a group of cadet officers in which most of them were your good friends. let's just say it was all about professionalism. i was there to teach while there were there to learn. in actual fact, the platoon 5 instructors only got dead serious on the third day. so i thought it wasn't that bad .

thanks to edil, alvis, syimah, sheng quan and shanis for the great company. i had a lot fun joking around with you people. especially with the many different code names and 'inside' jokes.

photos of our spastic-ness will be up on facebook. provided SM uploaded it.

moving on.

thanks to faz for being concerned about my disappearance. i just need time to sort it out. don't worry. i have never thought myself as a quitter. i need to rediscover the old hariz who was full of hopes and dreams. optimistic and enthuasistic about anything and everything.

i can do it.

they say that blood is thicker than water. those words were proven true in the past few days. i am thankful for it.

at the meantime, i can only hope and pray.

karma hurts. but it can be a blessing for me.

on a random note. agnes monica has released a new single from her new upcoming album. it's called teruskanlah. ballad song with powerful vocals. sort of remind me of kelly clarkson. check it out. her new album titled sacredly agnezious will be out in stored at the end of the month in two editions. being in singapore, i guess i will miss out on the limited edition one.

HIT IT!

THINK STRAIGHT, WE ARE AHEAD!
UP CHEST, WE ARE THE BEST!

the scientist

2009-03-14T01:48:00.003+08:00

second chances.

sometimes, all you need is someone to believe whatever you say to make you feel better. someone whom you can talk to and feel good after that. someone whom you can pour out your true feelings without fear that you won't get shoot back.

in any way, who are we to judge people and spread our opinions to others. after all, we are just human. not god. if god can forgive the sins we have done no matter how bad it is, why can't we human beings cannot forgive the sins of others?

it all boils down to how big one's ego can get. for the person has too much pride in what he or she believes in, then an apology from the person will not be given for a long period of time. what else to forgive someone's mistake.

i spent the afternoon at ben and jerry's. alone. eating ice cream and watching the crowd below. and the reality of loneliness just got to me. like i am alone in this world. no one to understand the choices that i had made in my life. i admit i have made the wrong decisions in the past but there is no need to harp on it.

i may seem happy on the surface. bubbly and carefree. but in actual fact, i am trying very hard to contain my troubles in me. like for instance, the education path i am going to take. the many jobs that i am trying to apply. the never ending problems with my mum. and all these while, i thought i was doing well in coping all of these by myself. but the pain is worsening.

i need a person. someone like christina to meredith in grey's anatomy.

i have so much things to say. yet no one whom i can't seem to talk to.

and i can't stop listening to the scientist by coldplay.

bigger than the world

2009-03-12T02:24:00.003+08:00

it's been nearly a week.

not that i am busy or anything. but more like i am getting lazier to update on the events that had happened in the past few days. though most of the time i would be watching my indonesian movies and dramas.

going out with 3 different groups of people somehow has made me feel more comfortable with myself. previously, i try to be mindful of myself when i am with others. limiting myself to a few sentences at a time.

knowing that people appreciate me for who i am has kinda help me forget the bad moments i had in the past few months. and at the same time making new friends and not forgetting the old who have become closer lately.

even my mum who used to nag at me all the time, has improved considerably in the past few weeks. thanks to the open talk i had with her. though my dad is beginning to be a bit mad with my frequent late night exploits.

moving on.

kakak shasha brought up a good point about us cousins introducing future opposite partners which seemed more coincidental to me. fahrul wanted to share his special day with his 'friend' and family. so it was like killing two birds with one stone. as for me, i thought it would be good for her to join the bbq since the elders were not going to be there.

in any case, i am still waiting for luke to introduce us his current squeeze and matin to make his move on the-oh-so-obvious-choice. and not forgetting kakak who has yet to have that many guy friends.

backpacking trip is like 3 weeks away and i still havent raise enough money. with the money i have now, i can only afford to buy a one way ticket to KL. gosh. i need donations. i need to have a fund raising campaign. perhaps i should take making testtubes as well.

oh. justin timberlake is going to release his third album soon. i am SO going to buy the album. perhaps getting some concert tickets as well. though it is just wishful thinking on my part.

i want to be the male version of a rich tai-tai. then i wouldnt have to worry about making any money. with the money, i will fly to indonesia and meet agnes monica, bunga citra lestari, gita gutawa, laudya chintya bella, chelsea olivia and etc. then i'll go to uk and meet emma watson. before flying to usa and meet ellen, rachael ray, jennifer aniston, justin timberlake, amanda bynes and denzel washington.

any rich girls out there?

butterfly

2009-03-06T01:46:00.003+08:00

i have a new beau.

isn't she pretty? gosh. the name is bunga citra lestari. no idea why she has such a unique name but it's her real name. and im going ga-ga over her. what a pity she's married. to that guy from gol and gincu drama series.

and i find girls who have such short hair like hers are sassy looking. like it has the tomboyish look but at the same time has that feminine look as well. i know i sound contradicting. but yea. i think short hair for girls are the way to go now. and it must not be too straight or curly. just have to find that right mix of curl.

photos taken from kapanlagi.

moving on.

my night cycling didnt take place as i planned it. cause me and fadh missed the shop by 5 minutes. what a bummer. thank god for linton and wj to drop by ecp to send me home. had an emo session with my depressed friend which almost resulted us in getting hit by another car. that was one moment i cannot forget in my whole life.

something else happened that night. but im just lazy to type it here. but it kept me awake the whole night. and no problem dude. just doing what i felt i must do.

i think i have a current obsession to just exercise. like every now and then, i'll be doing push-ups, sit-ups, leg lifts, flutter kicks and etc. it used to hurt a lot when i first started out. but lately, it seemed that the pain has gone down a bit and im doing more reps by the day.

airborne here i come.

i think her dress really compliment her body figure. -sigh- i can't stop looking at her hair, her eyes, her lips, her legs and her hair again.

just dance

2009-03-04T02:11:00.001+08:00

"When I listen to love, I am listening to my true nature. When I express love, I am expressing my true nature. All of us love. All of us do it more and more perfectly. The past has brought us both ashes and diamonds. In the present we find the flowers of what we've planted and the seeds of what we are becoming. I plant the seeds of love in my heart. I plant the seeds of love in the hearts of others." - Julia Cameron

beautiful quote.

been cooped at home the past few days. and it will for the next few days. so i don't think i will be updating this space that regularly anymore.

my calendar of events:
night cycling - 5 march
10km run - 7 march
back to kampong - 7 march
napfa - 12 march
bike rally - 14 march
the route march - ?
4th advanced drills course - 16 march
medical check-up - 20 march
camp feast - 30 march
picnic with sean and jojo - ?
supper date/railway visit/planning trip with sji dudes - ?
lunch/dinner date with fadh and rahim - ?
ncc football matches - ?

im bored.

that's the way it is

2009-02-28T14:39:00.002+08:00

THIS POST WAS ORIGINALLY WRITTEN ON WEDNESDAY.

so exams have finally ended.

i have to admit it was quite an emotional last 3 hours. not that the paper was hard or anything. but for the sheer fact that it will be the last time i will ever see my poly classmates in the same room again.

i know there might be some misunderstandings and conflicts throughout the whole 3 years but the friendships forged seemed destined to last in the years to come. in having many different colourful characters are makes the class special.

if any of you guys happen to read this, i just want to say that i am sorry for whatever i have done that might have offended you. it's been a pleasure to be part of this class and it was a wonderful 3 year journey with you people. for all the fun that i did had, i will cherish those moments.

testimonials for all of you.

amin
the de facto leader of the class. though he was not the chairman of the class, he was easily one of the leaders in the class. easily distinguishable with the cap and blessed with great footballing skills. outspoken and never afraid to voice out his views. has a lot of initiatives in doing something good for the class.

sanee
the lamest guy in the whole class. his jokes are that lame to the extent that it takes a few seconds to register the joke in the brain. always into female lecturers, be it young or old. one of the few in the class who really knows his fashion sense. the 'richest' guy in the class as he lives in private housing. the fact that he is chinese bengali and is a muslim makes him unique in addition to his 'sunny' name.

deen
the laid back person. always calm in doing everything. his calming effect extends to tone down the loud persona's of amin, sanee and wei liang. one of the smartest in class who seemed to balance the immense workload that he has. always ready to offer assistance in any way possible. besides amin and sanee, the other leader of the class who is always enthusiastic about everything. this guy is younger than me by one day.

george
my first few lab partners. plus the one whom i think can be sarcastic in his words. and he's really good at it cause the other person dont seemed to get it but the rest can get it. always gets the job done as quickly as possible. among the first few to complete the given assignments ahead of time. focused and disciplined, i think he can go very far in this industry.

wei liang
the chinese mat. well versed in mandarin, malay and hokkien. serial late comer. his daring nature makes him the only one in class to do all sorts of unthinkable things. who can forget his mafia costume during the dinner and dance. but when it comes to serious business, he puts in as much work or more than anyone else. a confident speaker who can present without knowing anything beforehand.

chai hung
part of the malaysian brigade in class. conservative and mindful of lady-like behaviour. quiet diligent worker. one of the smartest in class but rarely gets the spotlight. a walking knowledge centre where i can ask questions regarding school matters.

ai ling
the ah jie in class. always looks out for the girls in class. rather protective when any of the girls gets bullied by the girls. also part of the malaysian brigade. one of the smartest in class who seems serious about the chemical engineering field. constantly putting in 100% effort in all the assignments and tests. her reports are always at least 3 times thicker than mine.

jing lin
the one with two split faces. she can be nice to you for a few minutes and start hitting you out of anger in the next few minutes. the only other person i know of who is dedicated in being a cadet inspector in the uniformed group. unknowingly, she can be a very strict and fierce person. warning signs if she is starting to get angry are that she she will ignore you and start giving you that 'look'. guys beware.

yoke hwee
the one with the business mind. calculative and takes every minute seriously. constantly engaged in business deals even when having tests or exams. from what i hear, he has even designed a couple of tshirts. if he cannot be an engineer, he has all the ideal makings of a great businessman. also has a hidden talent in being a goalkeeper.

jasmine
the bimbo one. on first impressions, she is a blur and often muddle headed. but in reality, she is one smart hardworking girl. the only girl in class to have a good sense of fashion style. never seen her wore the same clothes everyday for the whole semester. not forgetting the endless number of specs and accessories she seemed to have. and this girl can play football rather well.

stanley
the quiet joker. the one friend who is loyal to his friends. no matter how the gossips and criticisms you can have, he will still treat you as a friend with no questions asked. didnt realise he had stammers until fadh told me. and this guy watches the old p ramlee movies and understands the jokes. amazing.

mufeng
the only male representative from the malaysian brigade. and the only guy to have went through national service (in malaysia). athletic and smart. can speak thai, malay and chinese quite fluently. still need to improve his english. nonetheless, that does not stop him from scoring distinctions most of the time. always asking questions in class, this guy has a real passion in chemical engineering. he once drew a piping and instrument diagram of a plant all by himself.

hui ying
the wannabe singer. there's never a day when she will not sing which irritate the hell out of jing ling. deserves some credit for winning medals in wushu which she only started to learn 3 years ago. has the cheena accent while speaking english in which she keeps denying. at one point, she was rumoured to be linked with 3 guys. impressive.

noor
the sarcastic smart pants. his words always makes me laugh with his constant sarcasm. his favourite victim - jing ling. the one guy in class who has two contrasting hair styles, either botak or huge mop hair. and he owns a dslr camera. always look forward to visit his house during hari raya. cause there will be marshmallows and ferraro roche (is that how you spelt it?) chocalates. the guy with a bright future ahead of him.

rahim
the best friend in poly. without his support and encouragment, i would not hav survive the 2nd half poly life. often helps me in alot of stuffs and no amount of gratitude may seem enough for this guy. has a good pair of ears in knowing the best music in town. knows the fashion style for guys. always trying hard not be angry or mad with anyone. knows alot of secrets in class and never tells anyone about it.

fadhly
the first friend i ever met in poly. first met him during enrolment. and i can still remember the lunch we had at kfc after spice training. great friend to have. our friendship have a lot of ups and downs in the space of 3 years. another great friend who has done a lot in helping complete assignments and reports. if i were to write anymore, it can take up one blog post. in short, a fantastic friend.

i will miss these people.

if you see kay

2009-02-28T11:33:00.002+08:00

this is an overdue post.

so school ended last monday. and ever since then, i have been going out almost everyday. so that roughly explains my absence in this blogger world.

it's great when you can spend time with friends whom you can just be yourself and just let loose the wild side of you. there's nothing to worry about and no one to offend. plus the response will be immediate and not be discussed behind your back.

i like to say thank you to jon chua, linton, wei jiang and wee hoe for the dinner and the late night convo on tuesday and wednessday. thank you fadh for the big walk session on thursday. and not forgetting faz and hariz for the short lunch date on friday. oh, thanks also to clement and hassan for that jokes during the forum.

moving on.

i need to start runnning proper. i need to get the gold for napfa. i need to prepare for the selection trial for airborne. i need to get a job. i need to raise funds for my backpacking trip. i need to buy a new laptop.

the list can go on and on. but i have to start working on it.

the indonesian obsession is starting again. like watching shows on the indonesian channels. watching music videos of indonesian singers and indonesian dramas on youtube. not forgetting the movies as well. somehow, i just find myself attracted to their language. weird but true.

and i managed a full length convo with an indonesian couple at the hospital last friday in bahasa indonesia. how cool was that. and the little boy they had was so adorable. gosh. quite a pity their plane were going to leave that same day. could have brought them around singapore. hope to see you again mr ricky, mrs sarah and little dominic.

due to the current obsession, my chick flicks marathon were cut short with only 4 movies watched. so sad right? and somehow, i am beginning to like those artistic movies that is shown on okto channel. perhaps the different languages spoken may have charmed me. plus i was quite lucky to watch walk the line on channel 5 as part of their oscar movies lineup. and it was really good.

now, i am hungry.

Aku pun tak mengerti yang terjadi
Apa salah dan kurang ku padamu
Kini terlambat sudah untuk dipersalahkan
Karna sekali cinta aku tetap cinta

runaway

2009-02-22T10:53:00.003+08:00

statistics

it's a wonderful maths phenomenom to occur in the modern world. where one can instantly tell the worst and best and the average score.

but for me, it is a pain in the ass. since i am doing all the statistics. there is so many different ways of doing statistics that all i can think about the past few days was just numbers and hypothesis.

let's hope pst would not be like tke. hopefully she follow the 'traditional' exam format and questions. praying hard.

moving on.

izzie stevens from ga is having cancer for sure. but at this point of time, a possible guess would be brain cancer. since i read reports that shephard is going to operate on her. cool.

heroes is back and better than ever. like i mentioned before, the plot is rather straight forward and that is keeping on the edge of the seat. and there is only a handful of the original heroes left. there might be a few more new heroes but i guess that they would be playing minor roles.

one tree hill is on a break. prolly the producers received my email to put the show on a break while i study for my exams. and knowing that i am one of the biggest fans of the show, they decided to put the show on hold to accomadete me.

i think the first thing i am going to do when exams are over is to have a chick flick marathon. i have assembled a long range of movies that i am going to watch for the whole day. movies such as she's the man, what a girl wants, mean girls, she's all that, 50 first dates, a cinderella story and etc. gosh.

but for the mean time, superman trilogy is on the way. and i sent my resume to the wachowski brothers already.

move along

2009-02-19T03:47:00.003+08:00

insomnia.

i think it sucks big time when your body clock is really screwed up. i am now finding it hard to sleep during the night and yet i don't really sleep that much during the day. due to that, i think my sleep debt has accumulate to the extent that my eyebag is getting more obvious with each passing day.

perhaps the horror of thermo paper is still etched in my mind. i can imagine the shock/amused expression on tke's face when he marks the paper. let's hope a number of people are of the same mark category as me so my marks can be moderated to a significant grade. or else. i don't want to think about it.

what i can do now is just focus on the next paper. knowing pst trend of setting papers, revising all the past year papers is a sure fire way to get results. and i need to start doing the papers. been doing the tutorials lately. i know. it's too late. but i believe in miracles.

moving on.

driving around town, be it in the day or night, is a real challenge. with the many erratic drivers out there on the road, it's a wonder that i manage to stay accident free so far.

perhaps i should pursue a career as a trafic police officer and start giving out summons to all those un-law-obeying (is there such a word?) drivers. and that includes my father. he doesnt give signals like all the time and weaves in and out when he's in a hurry. tsk tsk.

oh yea. i have a new idol.

actually not a new idol. she's just someone i enjoyed watching. only when i saw the pictures of her photoshoot made me sit up and realized what a beauty she is. presenting to you amanda bynes.

is it me or that the idols that i like have certain similarities with me. cause her birthday falls in the month of april as well. and she used to have acne and was the geek back in high school. i am a geek now in poly. so yea. plus she has the type of hair and eyes that i find appealing in girls.

gosh. i am in love with amanda bynes now.

blessings

2009-02-16T22:26:00.002+08:00

surah al-fatihah

ALLAH in the name of The Most Affectionate, the Merciful.

All praise unto Allah, Lord of all the worlds.

The most Affectionate, The Merciful.

Master of the Day of Requital.

We worship You alone, and beg You alone for help.

Guide us in the straight path.

The path of those whom You have favoured. Not of those who have earned Your anger and nor of those who have gone astray.

Amen.

thank god for his blessings today. for he has given me renewed belief that i can achieve what i desire.

i am more determined. more confident. of course, a better and happier person.

with that, i have set new goals for the year.

swagger like us

2009-02-15T21:45:00.002+08:00

the best there is.

i still think the grammys is one of the best awards show there is. simply because it recognises all forms of music, regardless of any genre or race.

thanks to the wonders of internet, i managed to catch the whole show in full and i cannot get enough of it. though chris brown and rihanna did not perform, i felt the performances this year were of quality.

my personal favourite has to be the rap performance by lil wayne, kanye west, mia, t.i. and jay z. simply one of the best rap performances since tupac and biggie days. coming in a close second is coldplay's lost and viva la vida. other performances worth mentioning are carrie underwood, radiohead, kanye west and estelle, keith urban and jennifer hudson.

and there's a bit of the british music revival with two british acts getting 2 of the 4 biggest awards - best new artist and best song. not much complaints about the awards though i honestly didnt expect robert plant and alicia krauss to win the 2 highest awards of the night.

here's to a great year of music in 2009.

today's war memorial service was kind of boring. if not for the company of clts present, i think i might have slept while standing. plus mdm elizabeth got irritated alot by me that she kept squeezing my shoulders when she had the chance. met alot of new cadets. and i have no idea why they were so nervous all the time when i was talking to them. weird. or maybe i am weird.

took a lot of photos with the rest and even had the chance to take with a swiss wind girl. gosh. that was random. haha.

went to national library after that to get some studying done. and there was an added motivation to study since there was a girl beside me. not that she is cute or anything. but she looks the kind of person of high intellect. so i had to look smart myself. headed to zam zam before going back home.

No one on the corner have swagger like us
Swagger like us, swagger swagger like us

i love the grammy performance.

patience

2009-02-12T21:58:00.002+08:00

patience.

i need to stockpile lots of those in the next 2 weeks. not as if school is going to end for me but at least the thought of inching closer to enlistment ease it a bit for me. at least the 'test' week ended already.

so today marks the last of the productivity and quality management module. honestly, i only had 3 hours of revision the night before and that was it. so it was no surprise when i could not remember the answer to certain questions. but other than that, i relied a lot on my experiences as clt to get through the other questions. like on factors affecting the level of participation of the workers in the management for instance.

and i had my eye check up today. thanks to the FREE great services provided by the optometry centre in my school. had a few tests on my eye to see if there was anything wrong before trying several tyoes of contact lens available. it kind of feels good when the optician helps you put on the lens. like you are having a facial at a spa. or maybe it is just me.

i feel like im losing weight. like when i look at the mirror, i look all skinny and stuff. but in actual fact, i think i have been eating a lot the past month. maybe the stomach may have grown quite big but it seems that the weight is not properly distributed out on the other parts of the body.

this must be due to the lack of working out. perhaps i should just enlist and get the free help that i can get from the physical training instructors. hmm. speaking of that, i think i might want to become a PTI. firstly, i will be a much fitter and healthier person. secondly, i get to 'resculpture' this skinny frame of mine.

mave a little patience
my heart is numb, has no feeling
so while I’m still healing
just try and have a little patience

oh my god. boyband fever yet again.

that's what you get

2009-02-10T01:17:00.002+08:00

look at the time.

since i couldnt sleep thanks to thermo and friends, i decided to look through the photos of all my long lost friends. and my god have they changed a lot. those whom i havent met like in 8 years look so different that i feel like im like a secondary one kid when being compared to them. all of them look so mature. with the exception of me that is.

and like a true kaypoh, i also went through photos of my sji schoolmates. it seems that their lives are more happening than mine. while im still stuck in poly, they are out there having fun in army and some have already ORD-ed. gosh. im so lagging behind.

like chua said at the airport a few hours ago, i am quite eager to serve the nation. it's like i can take a break from studies and use it as a buffer time to think through what i want to do in life. though the army might make me stupid for a prolong period of time, i think it will be a turning point in my life.

i just want to get my poly life over and done with. not that i dont like it but i think poly life has serve some purpose in my life. it has taught me valuable lessons which i will remember for life. the vast variety of people has widen my perspective in the world we live in.

there are people who believe in first impressions. there are others who dont believe in forgive and forget. while there are some who choose to believe whatever is being said around. i can go on and on but in conclusion, the world is not what you think it is.

sometimes i find it hard to live up to expectations. for example, people have this misconception that as a cadet officer in the ncc, i am expected to do any tasks that are expected of me. but truth is, i am only human. i can only do it to the best of my abiiity.

but there are times when i do admit that i havent give my all. and i do regret it when i think about it. but there is no point crying over spilt milk.

i think i have come to a point where i cannot compete with anyone. i am not academically inclined like my cousins and friends. i dont have any talent. i am not a colourful character like any other people. basically i have nothing to offer about me anymore.

i need a whole new level of playing field. and i think national service is what i desperately need.

as for now, i am tired. seriously tired.

shake it off

2009-02-08T01:12:00.005+08:00

getting serious.

exams in 2 weeks time. and with two more assignments to be done which is the PDPE and QAS, i think i should start revising my work. not to mention the 2 written test next week which i think i will do enough to just get a pass. oh wait. i think i can bullshit my way through for the management test.

school for the past week was somewhat interesting. maybe it's just bad luck, coincidence or fate, i somehow managed to survive it. not forgetting TKE who has been nice to me the whole week, even after missing his lecture. so i shall make up to him by showing him the work that i have done for his module.

plus my mr umbrellaman classmate is into agnes monica. at least for the looks department. and he had his first taste of her music when i sent him the song. if he do gets addicted to her, then i have found a new friend-fan. haha. AGNES MONICA IS HOT.

moving on.

my school unit will be on tv later today. feels weird to see them on the screen. them as in those cadets whom i am humbled to say that they still know me. even though i go back like twice a year. rock on guys. should any of them read this (who knows i might be the next lester), i think you guys should bring back the 'chicken' back to sji. i want to lift it up again for one last time before i enlist.

as of lately, i have been watching friends. not that i havent watch. but it has kind of cheered me up and motivated me(yea right) in a few ways. at least in the exams fever state for example. and jennifer aniston is one hot woman. gosh. perhaps it's her sense of fashion in the clothes that she wears. whatever it is, she's beautiful.

and heroes are showing again on monday nights. 12 more episodes. kind of reminds me prison break, 24 and x-men. even grey's anatomy looks kind of boring. i need a new drama addiction. at least one tree hill is still great.

due to unforseen circumstances, i have a pair of tickets to some place this saturday and i have no one to go with. i can easily get one of my guy friends to go with me but i think we will look odd there amidst all the other couples. and i dont want to waste the tickets. so i am looking for someone to go out with me (sounds desperate to me. but heck).

is there anyone out there who wants to go out with hariz?

this one's for you mr umbrellaman. agnes monica when she was 16.

edited at 1100hrs.

my predictions for the grammys on monday morning.

and i will definately watch it since mr JT is performing.

Record of the Year
"Chasing Pavements" – Adele
"Viva la Vida" – Coldplay
"Bleeding Love" – Leona Lewis
"Please Read the Letter" – Robert Plant and Alison Krauss

Album of the Year
Viva la Vida or Death and All His Friends – Coldplay
Tha Carter III – Lil Wayne
Year of the Gentleman – Ne-Yo
Raising Sand – Robert Plant & Alison Krauss
In Rainbows – Radiohead

Song of the Year
"American Boy" – Estelle featuring Kanye West
"Chasing Pavements" – Adele
"I'm Yours" – Jason Mraz
"Love Song" - Sara Bareilles
"Viva La Vida" – Coldplay

Best New Artist
Adele
Duffy
Jonas Brothers
Lady Antebellum
Jazmine Sullivan

you found me

2009-02-04T01:06:00.004+08:00

"Suddenly it was as if the roar of the crowd, the echo of the final buzzers, the cheers of my teammates were all sounding from 1,000 miles away, and what remained in that bizarre, muffled silence was only Peyton. The girl whose art, passion, and beauty had changed my life. In that moment, my triumph was not a state championship, but simple clarity. The realization that we had always been meant for each other and every instinct to the contrary had simply been a denial of the following truth - I was now and would always be in love with Peyton Sawyer." - Lucas Eugene Scott

there are things worth doing. just need to try.

edited at 1900hrs

false pretence or a case of forgive and forget? whatever it is, i had no problems dealing with it. my concise is clear. i don't feel threatened.

people may have their own judgement.

but god's judgement is what matters most to me.

"How long can men thrive between walls of brick, walking on asphalt pavements, breathing the fumes of coal and of oil, growing, working, dying, with hardly a thought of wind, and sky, and fields of grain, seeing only machine-made beauty, the mineral-like quality of life. This is our modern danger — one of the waxen wings of flight. It may cause our civilization to fall unless we act quickly to counteract it, unless we realize that human character is more important than efficiency, that education consists of more than the mere accumulation of knowledge." - Charles Lindbergh

on a random note. had a lot of pretty girls out there on the streets today. then there was one who laughed at my brave attempt to run in the rain and nearly slipped. thank god for the soles on my brand new shoes.

or it could have been plain stupid of me to fall.

poker face

2009-02-01T22:13:00.002+08:00

a great way to end the first month of the new year.

went out with wj and linton on friday night after ngaji. it served as a way to relieve stress before the presentation day. went to eat tong seng before going to marina barrage.

had some great convo with the guys about everything. sometimes, their train of thoughts makes me feel more comfortable with myself. unlike some other people whom i have to adjust my frequency to their level, i am perfectly in tune with their company. maybe partly my growing up years was spent with the many intellectual people.

woke up real late on saturday morning. reached school on time for the project presentaion. had a few rehearsals before the real deal. hate to admit that the presence of PST really gave me a few jitters. other than that, i thought my group did quite well. hopefully both examiners can give us favourable marks.

went to sakura west coast after that for fahrul's birthday dinner. had great fun with the other cousins. taking photos and laughing at almost everything. was kind of wasted that kakak shasha wasnt there. even fahrul's girlfriend was there.

head over to marina barrage (once again) to just relax and have more talking for the elders. played cards with the cousins. and abang fadly was totally owning everyone in the game. had some supper at some prata shop before heading back home at 3am.

today was spent at two open house. first up was jing lin's at yishun. great company, great massage chair, great camera. real fun. next up was jon chua's at bukit batok. played cards. had a long losing run before luck began to smile on me again.

i am tired. and the thought of assignement and exams are not helping me.

before i end, i saw a bangla wearing a crescent girl's tshirt at yew tee last friday night. for a moment i thought i saw the most hideous girl i ever saw from crescent. only to realize upon closer look that it was a bangla wearing it. he looks kind of proud to be wearing it like it is a big deal to wear a prestigious school tshirt.

except that it was an all girls school tshirt.

photos from syahidah's camera. taken directly from her blog.

fahrul's 20th dinner at sakura/marina barrage - 31st january

i don't care

2009-01-28T22:37:00.002+08:00

farting is an art.

sometimes, you just can't hold the urge to just fart in public. if not, your body has this tngling sensation like as if someone poke you through the butt hole. i do admit to fart in public. sometimes, its the silent killer type but most of the time is the loud and odourless kind.

so i was standing in the bus today when i just had to fart. the point is that it was the soft sounding type. then there was this uni girl sitting in front of me who obviously heard it. so i did this old school trick that my mum taught me. and that was to look at the guy next to me. too bad it was an indian dude.

amazingly, the uni girl believed it was the indian dude who farted. thank god he was wearing those huge earpiece.

and my public image is still kept intact. phew!

i have nothing

2009-01-27T01:51:00.003+08:00

thanks to matin and shasha for introducing charice pempengco.

amazing voice which made my hair stand. simply fantastic vocals. and she's only sixteen.

"It makes me think what talent do I have. Oh wait. I have no talent at all." - Matin.

there she goes

2009-01-25T12:44:00.003+08:00

i missed my chance.

it's been two days but i am still not over it. i know it is very riduculous of me to still think about it. but hey. i almost got the gold. just needed to complete two more laps and the gold was mine. dang. and to think i could jump far, do pull ups and run fast. all for nothing.

and after 6 years of service, my sports shoes finally retired. with the soles coming off as a sign.

moving on.

been wearing contact lens the past few days. i dont know if it's just me or the contacts but my eyes sure do dry up very fast. due to that, i have to keep blinking my eye every few seconds. at least i do look good now since i can wear shades. haha.

project presentation this saturday. quite nervous.

there she goes again
racing through my brain
and I just can't contain
this feeling that remains

there she blows
there she blows again
pulsing through my vein
and I just can't contain
this feeling that remains

there she goes
there she goes again
racing through my brain
and I just can't contain
this feeling that remains

there she goes
there she goes again
she calls my name
she pulls my train
no one else could heal my pain
and I just can't contain
this feeling that remains

there she goes
there she goes again
chasing down my lane
and I just can't contain
this feeling that remains

my girl

2009-01-24T02:55:00.004+08:00

i can't sleep.

it's been a while since i watched a sad movie. and when i finally did, the tears just keep on flowing. and i watched the movie in the early morning so no one can see this side of me.

watched the movie my girl which was released in 1991. story about a little girl who faces many challenges at such a young age. at the same time, she befriends a boy who went on to become her best friend. to cut the story short, her best friend due to the bee attack.

the best scene for me was obviously the part where the little girl came face to face with the dead boy's body. i swear to you that i cried so much that tissue box ran out of tissue. it was so sad. and my nose is still blocked as i am typing this blog post.

go watch it. i love it.

weeping below with her tears running down
why do always weep and frown

is it because he loved you one day
is it because he cannot stay

higher branches you would swing
do you long for the happiness that they would bring

he found shelter in your shade
he thought his laughter would never fade

weeping below stop your tears
there is something to calm your fears

you think death as to you be forever apart
and i'll know that he will always be in your heart

hey you.

queen of my heart

2009-01-22T00:07:00.003+08:00

seriously, i should ignore facebook.

what shasha said previously is all coming true. facebook can indeed be addictive. and i'm ignoring this poor blog of mine. shall blog more often from now on.

some updates for the past 4 days

went out with faz on tuesday. dang. jurong point is uber huge la. the equal of vivo in the west.
saw louisa/tweety bird working hard in packing those CNY goodies. poor her. and she looks happier and more importantly, healthier.
finally completed the powerpoint slides. thanks rahim.
got myself new shoes. still have the need to shop for more.
wearing contacts once again. shall buy myself nice shades.
webcam with a guy for the first time - fadhly. simply hilarious.
slept late on tuesday morning. for no reason.
didnt sleep on wednessday morning. watched obama's inauguration and man u's match with derby.
facebook-ing for the past 4 days. im so proud of myself.
oh. i got taufik's album. thanks to danial. whee.

i love me, myself and i.

unbelievable

2009-01-18T12:42:00.003+08:00

after a long careful consideration, i think having a facebook account is good.

not for the purpose of playing games or having that great awesome photos but for the sole intention of linking up with your friends. blame me for being ignorant in the first place. though it's quite annoying to have friend requests every hour, i am quite amazed with quite a number of things.

like how certain people are facebook fanatics who will tag photos, write on wall, give comments and give status updates. then you have friends whom i have not seen for a long time to pop up from nowhere and added me. there are others who are concerned about the quality of photos they have. while others are crazy about playing the many different games. and i have uncles, teachers and even a brother president (like a father in churches but in la salle schools context) in my friend list.

on the whole, facebook is indeed a good social networking site.

moving on.

had a good dinner date with sean and jojo. laughed and crapped about a whole lot of stuffs. then it was ice cream at island creamery. it's quite shocking to know that my two friends have never been out of their home comfort. like how jojo never went out of the bishan and ang mo kio bubble while sean dont even go out of his house. all the best for sean. hope you dont lose your legs in bmt. or else i cant bring you out after your confinement. haha.

played soccer on sat. sort of to test myself whether i am fit enough for my upcoming napfa test. sad to say that i am not totally ready for it. im crampping all over. from my arms to my chest to my stomach and to my legs. and it doesnt help when you are down with flu. i guessed i am going to be sick for a long long time.

oh. and i lost my temper in the game when i lashed out at the opponent. rather stupid of me to lose it since all my team mates were keeping their cool about the opponent's rough tactics. i am regretting my actions. could have kept my cool and be more professional about it. sorry guys.

oh. and jia hui is now an old man. poor guy was limping all the way home after the game. this guy really cramped out most of the time. dude, buy a muscle rub. good investment for your muscles.

powerpoint slides are almost done. actually it could have been done easily. but im just taking my time to do it. since it's like the end of the month. i need to do my fair share of workload for the group. i think rahim has done more than enough for the whole group. no amount of appreciation is enough for him. thanks man.

a very old photo of myself. laugh your asses off.

live high

2009-01-15T11:45:00.002+08:00

ANNOUNCEMENT

after the constant naggings from everyone, hariz has FINALLY set up a facebook account. as he is still a noob in navigating around, he appreciates all the help needed.

as of now, 12 hours after being born, hariz has amazingly 35 friends. all that with him doing nothing.

let's hope hariz gets addicted to facebook since he is a lazy bum.

smooth criminal

2009-01-14T19:52:00.004+08:00

"We all get at least one good wish in a year over the candles on our birthday. Some of us throw in more, on eyelashes, fountains, lucky stars. And every now and then, one of those wishes come true. So what then? Is it as good as we hoped? Do we bask in the warm glow of our happiness or do we just notice we’ve got a long list of other wishes waiting to be wished." - Meredith Grey

sometimes i feel that everythink happens for a reason.

like how brother has so many courses at his disposal and i am starting to feel jealous. one such course is the tourism resort management. truth is, my interests have always revolve around planning and interacting with people. i need to meet new people to perk up my life. thus, the thought of a chemical engineer is a dreaded one and it makes it worse that i am going to graduate soon this year.

moving on.

my drama madness is kicking in slowly though some dramas are getting a bit ridicuous. like gossip girls and grey's anatomy. then you got the ones that thee story seems to get better like one tree hill, private practice and ugly betty. looking forward to new season of 24. and of course, american idol is back for the seventh season. therefore, my nights for the next few weeks looks good.

i have this current obsession with michael jackson and britney spears. been watching their music videos and live performances all over again the past few nights. i think britney used to be one sexy lady before she went bonkers. that hot body of hers is making go ga-ga every now and then. let's hope she's working out these days to get her old body back.

for your information, go listen to britney's latest single from her circus album. it sounds exactly like you thought you heard it. ahh. the beauty of spoken english. i so love it.

and i feel that michael jackson should be credited for pioneering music videos. the storyline in a music video was first started by him. back then, music videos were just songs which had faces. no purpose and no direction. michael jackson totally revolutionized the idea of music videos. and thanks to him, he saved MTV from being closed down.

my all time favourite - mass cheorography with slick dance moves.

when i am alone in the living room, i have this secret ambition to be a singer. like justin timberlake and chris brown. and have this lots of fashion designers waiting to dress me up. then when i get too carried away, i'll start dancing in front of the huge mirror at my living room. imagining there's a crowd cheering my name. and just justin, i'll pretend to play some instruments and pretend that there's a group of dancers behind me.

alas, it is just wishful thinking.

"We don’t wish for the easy stuff. We wish for big things. Things that are ambitious, out of reach. We wish because we need help and we’re scared and we know we may be asking too much. We still wished though because sometimes they come true." - Meredith Grey

better in time

2009-01-12T18:43:00.004+08:00

a day wasted.

thanks to the wonders of the admin people in my school, i started school today at 3pm and ended at 5pm. and i spent the whole morning sleeping and only woke up just in time to have brunch before going to school.

so my bro got his results today. and somehow my mum seems satisfied about his results. not me though. sometimes i think my bro can do better than he think he can be. if only he puts in more effort and be more organised in his work, i believe he can be better than me.

i remembered a post from matin's blog about the eldest setting the example in the family. paving the way for the younger siblings to have an easier way of navigating. the eldest often have to bear the scrutiny of saving the face of the parents. its like as if the image of the whole family depends on the eldest of the family. it's like all hopes and aspirations of the parents rest on the shoulders of the eldest.

since i was small, my parents have always pushed me to be the best in what i can do. and being a filial son, i always do my best in whatever i do. any failures along the way often warrant some form of punishment from them. as a result, i think i did quite well in my psle to get into a good secondary school which enabled to be get a modest score for my olevels.

but ever since i made the choice to go for a poly education, somehow the standards expected of my younger brothers just drop significantly. when i was young, a result of B and below was not tolerated. it was always about the level of pass that i achieved. but nowadays, the focus is just about passing or failing. so when my youngest brother got a band 3 for his maths, my mum was like saying well done and that he could have failed.

sometimes i question myself why the double standards in the family. it's like i was made to suffer for no reason. those beatings and scoldings i got when i get 'bad' results are like history now. the most my brothers will get these day for poor resutls are just naggings for a few moments.

frankly speaking, the younger siblings are supposed to do better than the elders. since they have someone to refer to and having the experience it from a third person view. if the younger ones do perform better, then credit is supposed to be given to us elders for being a reference point to do better.

its not about having to live in someone's shadow or finding it hard to step into those big shoes. its about knowing your true potential and doing more than what is expected of you. if there's a malay guy out there who can win the LKY award, why not me? why can't i do the same. it all boils down to how much desire you have it in you.

overall, things are supposed to be better as time progress. how are we supposed to move forward when the expectations for the next generation just keep on dropping?

as for now, i'll just have to work my socks off to 'save' the image of my family.

photos

2009-01-11T17:06:00.008+08:00

friday outing with hariz and faz - 9 january

shasha's 21st surprise party - 10 january

flying without wings

2009-01-11T16:14:00.002+08:00

great weekend.

first up, thanks to hariz and faz for the great friday outing. had real fun walking around sp looking at all the other final year projects. thanks for the treat at far east, the bowling and the ice creams at island creamery. honestly, i had fun except for that moment.

after 2 days worth of preparations for the surprise birthday party for our dear kakak shasha, it was indeed worth it. and all thanks to the chairman/oic who made it all happen. somehow, matin is like the leader of all the cousins in the current teen generation. our batch is like the golden generation where we achived the great results in the family. not that the younger ones are bad. but more of the hype and buzz is always about us up to this day.

so there were tears at the starting where shasha got her surprise and watch the video made my matin. that included the speech by matin about shasha being the role model in the family. and that it was all fun, fun and more fun. great performance by luqman and danial. and of course, yours truly was the host for the game - don't forget the title.

except for a few awkard moments i had, i thought the whole party went smoothly with the programme ending at around 9. and of course, with the 'ipod touch', camwhoring was a must for the night. even the uncles and aunties turn back the time to take some hilarious photos for the birthday girl. overall, i thought the whole event was a success with the great decorations done by the cousins.

matin said something about us cousins being great party planners. perhaps we could come up with our own tv show where we can help desperate people to plan a party at their house with limited budget and time. with matin's dream to set a cafe, perhaps a party venue at his cafe can be one consideration.

time spent with your cousins are indeed something that i can never seem to get enough. like there are endless topics to talk about from the scandals in the family and quirkiness of people we know of. with the many different characters in the family, it indeed makes us truly unique as one. and i cant ask for more with the great cousins i have.

happy 21st birthday kakak shasha. you are our role model.

heal the world

2009-01-09T23:43:00.003+08:00

There's a place in your heart
And I know that it is love
And this place could be much
Brighter than tomorrow
And if you really try
You'll find there's no need to cry
In this place you'll feel
There's no hurt or sorrow

There are ways to get there
If you care enough for the living
Make a little space
Make a better place

Heal the world
Make it a better place
For you and for me
And the entire human race
There are people dying
If you care enough for the living
Make a better place
For you and for me

If you want to know why
There's a love that cannot lie
Love is strong
It only cares of joyful giving
If we try we shall see
In this bliss we cannot feel, fear or dread
We stop existing and start living

Then it feels that always
Love's enough for us growing
Make a better world
Make a better world

Heal the world
Make it a better place
For you and for me
And the entire human race
There are people dying
If you care enough for the living
Make a better place
For you and for me

And the dream we were conceived in
Will reveal a joyful face
And the world we once believed in
Will shine again in grace
Then why do we keep strangling life
Wound this earth, crucify its soul
Though it's plain to see
This world is heavenly
Be God's glow

We could fly so high
Let our spirits never die
In my heart
I feel you are all my brothers
Create a world with no fear
Together we'll cry happy tears
See the nations
Turn their swords into plowshares

We could really get there
If you cared enough for the living
Make a little space
To make a better place

Heal the world
Make it a better place
For you and for me
And the entire human race
There are people dying
If you care enough for the living
Make a better place
For you and for me

Heal the world
Make it a better place
(Oh, my friends)
For you and for me
And the entire human race
There are people dying
If you care enough for the living
Make a better place
For you and for me

You and for me
You and for me

Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children

for peace in gaza. let us pray for all the madness to end.

t-shirt

2009-01-06T22:31:00.003+08:00

please don't stop the music.

thanks to the spasm disease that mojo jojo had the past week, i am now also on spasm mode. i cannot stop singing every now and then. like on the bus today.

this auntie was looking at me like as if i am some mentally ill boy who loves to mumble to himself. i had to erase any doubts she had about me by reading the newspaper. i thought it should work since i have never seen spastic people reading newpaper before. but alas, i may have given her the idea that i am an intellectual spastic kid. oh well. at least, i can carry on singing to myself. at a softer tone.

and as part of the mini celebration that i am having after the completion of my fyp report, i played my first game of DOTA. being a noob, i got trashed badly. got killed the most in my first game. an astonishing 13 times. and thanks to me 'feeding' the enemies, my team got trashed badly as well. i dont get what's the fun behind this game. still prefer the tower defense. heh.

See I'm all about them words
Over numbers, unencumbered numbered words
Hundreds of pages, pages, pages forwards
More words then I had ever heard and I feel so alive
Now you and I, you and I
Not so little you and I anymore
And with this silence brings a moral story
more importantly evolving is the glory of a boy

so today i went out for lunch with faz. and like any other lunch dates with me as the poor one (i am poor. donations please?), i got treated to a not so good lunch. orginally wanted prata ice cream. but thanks to the stupid mouth that i have, i ordered the tasteless maggi goreng. oh wells, at least i had the butter naan. since she ALWAYS cannot finish her food.

photos. as usual, the secrecy of it. haha. and i like my new shirt. woohoo.

thanks for the lunch treat.

And so I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music, feel the air
I'll put a flower in your hair
Though the breezes through trees
Move so pretty you're all I see
As the world keeps spinning round
You hold me right here right now

me and mrs jones

2009-01-05T23:55:00.003+08:00

frantic day today.

finally the end of the dreaded day. too many things happened today. i am rather lazy to type all into here.

what matters in the end is that the fyp report is done and submitted. woohoo!

We both know that it's wrong
But it's much too strong to let it cool down now.
We meet every day at the same cafe,
Six-thirty I know she'll be there,
Holding hands, making all kinds of plans
While the jukebox plays our favorite song.

world of our own

2009-01-04T16:14:00.004+08:00

i can feel it. i can sense it.

the end of the project.

and i need more clothes. donations to hariz's bank account are gladly encouraged and welcomed. thank you.

please come again.

i'll never stop

2009-01-03T03:31:00.002+08:00

alright. my webcam cannot capture those wonderful photos like matin's macbook. but hey, at least i do have a webcam. haha.

for those who know, fyp is coming to an end soon. its that final frantic part where everyone wants to put together a good report worthy of good grades. so as of now, i can safely say that the report is about 75% done. sounds good but in actual fact it is not. submission date is sadly on monday at 5pm.

wish me luck people.

auld lang syne

2009-01-01T12:38:00.004+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

a new year, a new beginning. let's hope this year will be a better year than 2008. though there will be more terrorist attacks, the ongoing reccesssion, the many disesase outbreaks, the raging wars in certain parts of the world and my imminent duty to serve the nation.

so yesterday was quite a good day. considering my group were panicking about the meeting with TKE. our report parts were all over the place. and joshua was clearly panicking about me and rahim's part being done wrongly. spent the morning in school, rushing through the report.

at the end of it, TKE was in good spirits. must be the new year's eve mood. so he decided to meet us online today later at 3pm. so nice of him. with that, all of us dashed off to the many different places. i was late of course. and thanks to many people who shared the same idea as me to take the bus, i only managed to take the 4th 106 bus.

met the small little group of cubers. found them to be in low spirits. cant blame them for the poor turnout. and poor azyan was clearly not happy with it. feeling good at that time (thanks to TKE to rub it off me), i felt that we should do something really fun to cheer them up.

all thanks to the games at minds cafe. had a dumb good fun with them, playing all the riduculous games. some blur moments and the snorta game had the most impact with the many different sounds and two opposite actions. hang out at mcds and outside raffles place after that before meeting my aunt at lau pa sat.

had a heavy seafood dinner and satay. then went on a stupid search for a petrol kiosk which didnt exist in the CBD area before heading off to the flyer. after much pushing and a fight between a mat and a bangla, found a spot near the makan place beside esplanade. spectacular fireworks with the mega bang ending.

and i felt the crowd control by the cisco officers and the respective security personnel did very badly. they were a lot cock-ups everywhere which led to the crowd getting restless and pissed off. had a good time seeing all the many different sides of singaporeans and foreign people. waited for my parents from their dinner at the top of the flyer carpark. went home at around 3am.

shall not post my resolutions up here. later i am afraid it will not be fulfilled.
so have a great year ahead. stay healthy. good fun. be safe.

things that hariz is not used to in 2009

the fact that im turning 20 soon
having a brother who is a cadet officer as well
having cadets under you previously as your colleagues
seeing more friends having their head shaved off
the dreaded letter from mindef
possibly having friends who will be my seniors in the army
the end of poly education
my mum dressing up and putting lots of make up
liverpool at the top of the table
man u having 4 great strikers and not scoring goals
singapore not being champions
asian youth games in spore

"There is a tide in the affairs of men, which taken at the flood, leads on to fortune but omitted, and the voyage of their life is bound in shallows and mesires. On such a full sea are we now afloat and we must take the current when it serves or lose the ventures before us." - Julius Caesar

photos from chicken rice shop at bukit batok

photos from small cubes outing

breakeven

2008-12-31T01:50:00.004+08:00

a day left to the new year.

to end off the year, i sort of save the best for the last. with all the different countdowns that i had for the past few days, i shall highlight the top songs for the year. not that list is accurate or anything. but i kind of enjoy putting songs in a compilation. like i am a radio deejay.

so the list may not be the same as ryan seacrest's or 987fm's one. but it's a decent effort on my part. just doing this for fun. no offence intended.

hariz's top 50 songs of the year

50) thunder - boys like girls
49) mercy - duffy
48) when i grow up - pussycat dolls
47) check yes juliet - we the kings
46) labels of love -fergie
45) 7 things - miley cyrus
44) bubbly - colbie caillat
43) teardrops on my guitar - taylor swift
42) miss independant - ne-yo
41) in the ayer - flo rida feat will i am
40) bye bye - mariah carey
39) angel - natasha beddingfield
38) kiss kiss - chris brown
37) over you - daughtry
36) so what - pink
35) lovebug - jonas brothers
34) 4 minutes - madonna feat justin timberlake
33) now or never - hsm cast
32) t-shirt - shontelle
31) whatever you like - t.i.
30) crush - david archuleta
29) american boy - estelle feat kanye west
28) hot n cold - katy perry
27) damaged - danity kane
26) the man who can't be moved - the script
25) one step at a time - jordin sparks
24) lucky - jason mraz and colbie caillat
23) hate that i love you - rihanna feat ne-yo
22) sexy can i - ray j
21) just stand up - cancer aid song
20) closer - ne-yo
19) love song - sarah bareilles
18) forever - chris brown
17) womanizer - britney spears
16) stop and stare - onerepublic
15) green light - john legend feat andre 3000
14) i'm yours - jason mraz
13) touch my body - mariah carey
12) live your life - t.i. feat rihanna
11) no one - alicia keys
10) better in time - leona lewis
9) i kissed a girl -katy perry
8) leavin' - jesse mccartney
7) love in this club - usher feat young jeezy
6) low - flo rida
5) no air - chris brown and jordin sparks
4) take a bow - rihanna
3) with you - chris brown
2) viva la vida - coldplay
1) bleeding love - leona lewis

happy new year's eve everyone.

when you're looking like that

2008-12-30T17:58:00.003+08:00

2 more days to new year.

sort of have mixed feelings about the coming new year. had a lot of fun and sadness this past whole year. there are things which i could have done better and there are others which i want to relieve it again.

but overall, i feel that i am going to end my year well. provided that my head can churn out good ideas on what to type for my fyp report. deadline may be due next monday and the bulk of it may seem done. but there are quite a few holes in the report which are yet to be covered up. and i have to put in my fair share of work cause i think me and joshua are putting too much work on rahim.

school could have been better enjoyed if i had been more enthu about my work and causing a lot of problems when it comes to project work. overall, i feel that my classmates are a great bunch of people who knows when to have fun and when to be serious. the many different characters in class are what makes the identity of this class. though i may not be the active one in class, i am honoured to be part of this wonderful class.

on the otherhand, my participation in ncc was only limit to two courses. the first one was kinda boring since i was one of the advisors. the second one was a blast. great batch of cadet officers. just hope i did my best in setting an example. and with the new year comes a new era in air district as we have a new commander. plus i made more friends which are damn hyper all the time. shall miss all of these when the nation calls me up next year.

like the past years, my family have been through rough patches. this year is no diffenrent. with the many different problems, it's safe to say that most of the resultant outcome is not that bad after all. let's hope my mum gets her big fat bonus and my dad a new job which offers more pay than hi current one. oh yea. and let's hope haqiz does well for his o levels.

i think personally i dont think i have done things the way i wanted it to be. there are a few in which things didnt work out so well. so yea. i have to learn how be more proactive and be more patient in doing things. plus i have certain goals in which i want to achieve next year. like achieving gold for my napfa, going airborne, getting a new license and getting more clothes.

just for fun. i always wanted to give out awards. like you are the first one to see the results. and sometimes i dont agree with the results. so i have decided to come up with my annual awards. presenting to you:

the hariz's choice awards.

sportsman of the year

1) michael phelps
2) rafaal nadal
3) lewis hamilton

sportwoman of the year

1) lorena ochoa
2) yelena isinbayeva
3) natalie coughlin

actor of the year

1) heath ledger
2) robert downey jr
3) morgan freeman

actress of the year

1) michelle monaghan
2) angelina jolie
3) gwyneth paltrow

comedian of the year

1) tina fey
2) robert downey jr
3) jack black

teen drama of the year

1) gossip girls
2) prison break
3) one tree hill

comdy of the year

1) house
2) two and a half men
3) pushing daisies

male hottie of the year

1) zac effron
2) robert pattinson
3) nick jonas

female hottie of the year

1) jessica alba
2) megan fox
3) rihanna

breakout star of the year

1) paramore
2) jonas brothers
3) miley cyrus

male artist of the year

1) chris brown
2) jason mraz
3) kanye west

female artist of the year

1) leona lewis
2) rihanna
3) jordin sparks

band of the year

1) coldplay
2) the killers
3) the ting tings

new act of the year

1) david archuleta
2) katy perry
3) colbie caillat

male icon of the year

1) johnny depp
2) brad pitt
3) justin timberlake

female icon of the year

1) beyonce knowles
2) carrie underwood
3) rihanna

if you seek amy

2008-12-29T11:28:00.002+08:00

this is going to be a short one.

singapore is really a nice place to live in. this holds true when it comes down to food. there is so much variety in this little island that it can put the whole of usa to shame with its unique local dishes and not forgetting the international ones. so presenting to you:

the top 10 makan places that hariz frequents

10) foodcourt 3

i know that this sounds stupid but of the many foodcurts i have in school, this is the only foodcourt where there are more than 2 halal stalls. so it is no surprise that this foodcourt is one of the popular foodcourts where the muslim students frequents.

there are 2 chicken rice stalls with different styles - one with the many different sauces and the other is the typical malay style. then there is the nasi padang with the many variety of dishes at affordable prices. and lastly the western stall which has the slowest service in the whole school.

not quite a bad place to go if i dont have enough money in my wallet.

9) far east plaza

this used to be my favourite makan place back i was in sji. now that it seems so far away from school and home, i havent been to this place for a long long time. a thing to note is that the name of the shop is puncak noodles. nearest to the chinese stalls. not the the middle one or the furthest one.

my staple here will be the fried wanton noodle with the thick gravy. if i am on a curious mood, i strongly recommend the thai fried rice and the hotplate noodles. the smell itself can make anyone eat although they might be on diet. simply yummy.

i should drop by this place more often. just to relieve my memories.

8) jurong point banquet

for those living in the east, i kind of pity you guys. this place is like the original halal (or hahal) food court when it first started years ago.

can safely say that most of the original food stalls are still there. like my favourite hotplate noodle stall, chicken rice stall, western stall and the home made noodles. the location and variety is what makes the food court frequently visited.

a thing to note is that i noticed the lady at the western stall is still the same one when it first opened. and she hasnt change one bit. must be the effects of having a western diet.

7) al azhar

this place is the place to go for prata. i believe the quality of prata here has been better than the ones at jalan kayu.

there is so much variety here. like they dedicate 2 pages in their menu for their different types of prata. of course, i am in love with their ice cream prata and tissue prata. sedap.

besides, they do offer some good naan and tandoori chicken. and their mee rebus and maggi goreng is consistently delicious. this year, they started selling their mega satay which is super a lot. like even longer than your 15cm ruler. or about there la.

dont get confuse with the al ameen stall. this place is the one where the payment counter reminds me of harry's bar.

6) brickworks chicken rice

ahh. thanks to my two little brothers, i have began a liking for chicken rice. and this comes in at number 6.

the reason why this place even makes the list that it is the only shop that i know of that sells my favourite part of the chicken. that part is known in malay as the buntut or the tail end of the chicken. juicy and sinfully full of fats.

i have to say that the quality of the chicken rice is about the same as the one at bukit batok but the fact they cooked the chicken again just to maintain it's hotness is the factor for me. plus the innards such as the gizzards and liver, this shop sells almost every part of the chicken. simply fantastic.

too bad this place is like unknown to many people.

5) hjh maimunah nasi padang

there are a lot of good nasi padang stalls out there like pariaman and sabar menanti. but my mum is rather picky and likes to stick the same one, so this is the most frequent place of all.

the siput (snails) are the main draw here. with the sup daging and tahu telor coming closely behind. there are a lot of other dishes but my family members are not adventurous enough to try the rest. maybe i should go there one day on my own and try the lemak nangka (jackfruit in coconut milk) and sambal goreng. looks so sedap to me.

for the good food, only natural that you may have to fork out more money.

4) evertop chicken rice

ahh. another chicken rice stall. this is located at clementi.

this was introduced to me by my classmate - rosmohadi. the chicken rice here is by far the best i have ever eaten in my whole life. it is steamed cooked and there are no bones in the chicken. the typical hainanese (not sure of the spelling) style.

so this year, they started another set of dishes to go with the chicken rice. sort of the chicken rice padang style. hahaha. my favourite will be the ngoh hiong, chicken feet and the tofu. for those who dont like chicken rice, there is a yong tau foo shop beside it. sometimes, i eat from both shops if i feel really hungry.

now i have the craving for it. dang.

3) aliff restaurant

a thing to note is that it is not a restaurant with air con.

this is like the desperate place for me to go if i have little cash. cause it's like near to my house and offers cheap good food. and this is like a hangout spot for friends to gather and chit chat.

actually the food here is not that fantastic. only the teh tarik is the main draw for me. it is like those malay uncles i saw at malaysia where they just hang out at warongs and just drink teh tarik the whole day.

they should install a tv. business will boom.

2) adam road food centre

this place is like the meeting place for my sji friends.

typical outing with them starts with dinner at this place. followed by dessert at island creamery across the road. we can hang out at this two place for the whole night. pretty amazing huh? it helps when those girls from the nearby schools drop by. gives us something to look and talk about.

the mee goreng, nasi briayni and the sup daging is the must try at this place. that's like the staple food when i come here. maybe the chinese people can try the carrot cake. since my friends go ga-ga over it and sometimes makes me have a secret craving to try it.

1) ayer rajah food centre

i somehow feel that this place should not be number one. but since my list says the places that i always frequent, this is the number one.

anything you want is available here. my family do come here for cheap seafood. my friends are in love with this indian rojak and western food. and my brother is into the sup daging. my mum into the satay and mee soto. my dad is into the bubur (porridge). then you have my youngest brother who eats practically they got to offer.

it's like almost shop have their own specialty. kind of cool. perhaps they should make one food court like this right in front of my house. so i wont have to travel so far. just a bit of info to share, i visited this place about more than 10 times a month for the whole year.

i know i have no life.

other places which i must visit more often

simpang bedok
seah imm food court (opposite vivo)
that chicken rice stall near smu and paradiz centre
newton food court
staff canteen at terminal 2 changi airport
bedok food court

broken hearts parade

2008-12-28T01:16:00.006+08:00

let me take this chance to escape from my fyp report and blog.

so a new era is being ushered in today. after 5 years of service, major gary has called it a day and decided to go back to the teaching path. and so finally, the air family welcomes a new district commander - captain angela. being previously from the east district, i hope she can push the district to higher level. hopefully surpassing east district and be the best.

kinda think change of command parade felt kinda good actually. though i was hesitant at first to be inside, i realised such opportunity like this wont come by easily. had great fun standing beside minah and lalat-man. and not to mention jojo and her funny way of giving commands. i knew she was trying to avoid looking at all of us for fear of laughing but her resultant action made it worse.

major gary personally thanked everyone during the inspection. he called me his potato chip eating buddy, cup noodle and television mate and stay in room mate. prolly that due to the fact that when i stay in, i end up staying alone with him in the office.

so being cadet officers, i shall say we all were kind of sloppy in the drills. but who cares anyway. we all had fun doing the parade. and that is all that matters. did i mention that i shouted as loud as i can during the hip hip hooray part. and i ALMOST cried when major gary gave his last speech during parade. i will miss him.

thanks to janice and haqiz who came down and were the only ones who were not from air. see. we air people are fun loving people. should hang out with us more often.

lunch at hazimah's mum place again. this time with jojo, huiru, jia hui, my brother and janice. clement came down by cab. felt weird at first. but like i said, our primary objective is to eat. it will be a bonus if we can see hazimah. though after having eaten there with my family and didnt realise that she was the daughter. spent some time there laughing before going home. i wanntt my photos clement.

after spending my life away for the past 3 years to the corps, i realised that i can never forget the bonds i have with these people. somehow, i find my circle of friends getting larger with every new intake. there is like an endless amount of friends you can make by joining ncc.

i felt old when in parade today. it's time for me to go join the army.

another thing to note is that i am proud to say that the air website is wayyy better than any other website in the ncc family. and even better than the ncc website itself. it's so good that we are the only district to have our own domain - htttp://nccair.org. and i even have my own email - han_1504@nccair.org. all of this would not have been possible if not for one man - prabakaran. i love you man. this guy is the most efficient person i have ever seen in my whole life. you deserve much more credit praba.

so enjoy the photos. credits to praba and his wonderful D-80. (jealous clement?)

whatever you like

2008-12-25T11:01:00.004+08:00

so here i am once again.

i havent been to the cinemas that frequent this year as compared to last year. all thanks to the wonders of the internet. but even so, i managed to catch quite a number of blockbuster movies which i thought i should highlight it in case some cavemen out there never heard of it. so presenting to you:

the top 10 movies that hariz watched

10) the incredible hulk

i just want to say there were a lot of choices to pick in this list. but i had to pick the ones where i really had the interest and watch the trailer all over again.

so this had to come in at number 10. as compared to the first movie i saw which was directed by ang lee, this was a better effort. although the storyline is about the same as the first one, it was better acting and with a bit of humour and sadness. you can sense the sorry state of the hulk. the lead actor has the calibre to take this character deeper and make it come alive.

of course, how can i forget liv tyler? hot stuff.

9) vantage point

i remembered watching this one with my cousins on matin's birthday. it was a last minute decision to watch so as to distract him away from his friends. alas, the smart matin out witted all of us when he said he knew about all of the plans.

a simple assassination plot with a twist. the way movie is shot is of a different style. it is retold through 6 different person's view. as they replay the scene all over again, a vital piece of information is added to the story so as to make the audience guessed what is going to happen next.

i thought the movie had a fresh feeling as it was something new. though the movie can be a bit boring when they kept replaying the same scenes. this movie can be of mixed reviews. critics say it is one of the worst movies of the year while the commercial success of the movie says otherwise.

8) rec

not many people know this film but they may know the hollywood remake as quarantine. it's a spanish movie which was actually released last year.

this movie is shot like from a person's view (like the blair witch project) which is seen through the eyes of the cameramen. it recounts the story of a news reporter who is trapped with a group of people locked in the building. this was due to an 'infection' that the authorities thought it was best to contain by sealing off the building.

and like any good horror movies, there are plenty of scares that scared the shit out of me. even with my other male friends, we were practically kicking around as though the 'stuff' were coming for us.

freaking good scary movie. go watch it.

7) eagle eye

honestly, i didnt understand the story when i first watched it. maybe i was slow or stupid. i dont know. so i watched it again.

and somehow the second time i watched it, i found the storyline fairly easy to apprehend. something similar like i robot and terminator. albeit in the present context. great action scenes and good flow of the storyline with the pace just nice for me to follow.

not many people realise that the single mum in the movie is actually julia in mission impossible 3. the love interest of tom cruise. she is hot and strike a similar resemblance to katie holmes. hard to believe she is already in her thirties.

and i dont find shia lebouf to be a good looking actor like some girls proclaimed.

6) high school musical 3

yes. the final installment of the zanessa (zac effron and vanessa hudgens) series. being a fan of the story or more like into the romance between the two lead actors. i simply had no choice but to watch to the movie.

and i simply love it. the great dance routine at the rooftop and the broadway theme routine are among my favourites. though some may argue that it is just another chick flick but it is not. like how our parents were into grease two decades ago, this is just another phenomenon in our current era.

like what matin say, we young adults should go watch as we have the thinking to appreciate the dance routine and song. it somehow brings out the kid in you. love it.

5) sex and the city

oh yes. like how simpsons took so long to get a movie made, the 4 girls finally re unite for one more time in the big screen. and it is juicier, wittier and funnier.

though the storyline might have been too simple too understand, the great chemistry between the cast saved the movie. it somehow reminds me of the great days i had back in secondary school where we were all doings things for the fun of it.

and how can i forget that nude scene.

4) wall e

i somehow felt that this movie is better than kungfu panda. true that the movie was like muted for the first half of the movie. but you got to give credit to the animators for being able to expression the feelings and mood of the characters through the wonderful animations.

simple love story yet again. but the way of telling it was the one that captivated me. i could really feel for the character and being able to laugh at its desperate attempts to win the robot's heart. and i actually cried when wall e lost his memory at the moment when eve finally fell in love with him. aww.

a better pixar film following finding nemo.

3) iron man

another comic based film which finally hit the right notes. great brilliance in picking robert downey jr as the lead actor. his portrayal was the one of the great points in the film. his brand of humour was what made me like the movie.

the pace of the movie was just nice with a nice brief intro on how the idea of suit came about. great climatic final battle scene with the nemesis. cannot wait for the sequel although his black friend will be portrayed by a new actor. overall, one of the movies that did not disappoint me.

and ms peppers was certainly very hot in the film. ouch!

2) tropic thunder

the comedy of the year. at least in my opinion.

with robert downey jr, ben stiller, jack black and steve coogan, it was hard to pull of a great comedy due to a clash of comedy personalities. but ben stiller did very well in putting a great script and storyline.

the standout performer would be robert downey hr with his african american character. simply hilarious. i cannot forget that one scene when he was about to save ben stiller and they had a dialouge about him finding his own true self. classic.

and i never thought that a weird character in the movie was a cameo by a great actor.

1) the dark knight

if anyone of you reading this movie disagrees my pick for this one, then you must have landed in the wrong planet.

this movie has no suitable superlatives to describe it. everything from the cast, acting, costume, soundtrack and script is simply a class above any other movies this year. it is such a shame that the late heath ledger wasnt there to be at the gala premiere.

the charisma between batman and joker somehow got rub off on most of the people i knew. it was tooo good that i watched it 3 times. which i belive it is not a waste of my money. kind of sad that the movie did not get the nod at next year's oscars. but who cares. this movie will go down as one of the best in a very long time.

why so serious?

the 10 movies that i havent watch yet

kungfu panda
jumper
quantum of solace
mamma mia
the x files
the mummy 3
burn after reading
body of lies
madagascar 2
hancock

the top 10 movies i am looking forward to next year

10) transporter 3
9) the wolfman
8) fast and furious
7) ice age: dawn of the dinosaurs
6) the imaginarium of doctor parnassus
5) x men orgins: wolverine
4) harry potter and the half blood prince
3) terminator salvation
2) transformers 2
1) angels and demons

thanks for the last minute invitation - clement, jocelyn and syamil.

happy 19th anniversary mum and dad. wishing you everlasting happiness together. i love the both of you.

merry christmas to all christians. happy holidays to the rest. think of resolutions now.

seasons in the sun

2008-12-24T10:22:00.006+08:00

since new year is about 6 days away, i thought i have a little countdown of my own.

presenting to you the top 10 news that i read and followed. i must say that some might not agree with the list but it is just a personal opinion of mine. and i am doing this just to recap my year. so yea. here goes.

the top 10 news that shook hariz's world

10) the white tigers and zoo keeper

this can be debatable. thought of putting the pedra branca results but i figured singaporeans preferred something more laymen. so this comes in at number 10.

it might have been quite recent but i remembered my parents talking about it for over than 2 weeks as though the dead guy was a relative of mine. speculations of him being possesed (typical malay reactions) and him being thrown into the enclosure were such examples.

but at the end of the day, i think it is just a another suicide attempt. albeit in a dramatic fashion. imagine him and the others who commit suicide at hell.

guy 1: eh. i died while jumping off a hdb flat.
guy 2: i died while dashing across the road.
guy 3: i died while hanging myself.
zoo keeper: i died while being eaten by WHITE tigers.
rest: wooah!

but whatever it is. i hope the guy's soul will rest in peace. and his family can also finally be at peace about the speculations and move on to the next chapter in their lives.

9) the melamine scandal

ahh. this is so scandalous. i remembered it happening just after the the olympics. it created a lot of chain effects.

it started with the melamine in the milk as thousands of babies got affected and reported sick. it didnt help that there were officials covering up the initial warning signs so as not to disrupt the glamour of the olympics.

it then spread to the other dairy products. it affected the whole world since everything these days are made in china. here in singapore, the popular white rabbit sweet was found to contaminated. pity those souls who consumed it.

the scandal lasted a few months in which there was a worldwide backlash against china. but somehow i think the china government were professional about the whole thing. they accepted the mistakes and are doing the best they can do address the situation, bearing in mind they have the world's largest population.

someone once told me not to go to geylang and see the china prostitutes. for fear that their breasts have melamine in it.

8) the writer's strike

yes of course. this is quite significant. since i am a big fan of a lot of dramas. it may have started in late 2007 but it only ended in february 2008.

it started from the negotiations between the writers and the big producers. they wanted an increment in the payout since it is a multi-million industry. but they were denied. so they went on a srike. simple and minor thing becoming a big severe result.

i have no choice but to side with the writers. without them, how can the dramas we watch be so engaging that we follow every episode and season. thus, they deserve the right to get more money. especially the revenue from the 'new media'. there were also a lot of actors who expressed support for their fellow writers. a few include jack black, kirsten bell, katherine heigl and ben stiller.

thanks to this, i had to go on a movie marathon for nearly 4 months. had certain withdrawal symptoms such as inabilty to sleep and nightmares over the loss of my favourite dramas. thank god it's over now.

let's hope the actors do not go on strike anytime soon.

7) the Malaysian Opposition sweeping into power. Nearly.

i know i am being ridiculous being interested in malaysian politics but somehow i feel that any drastic change has a direct effect on singapore. plus i am strangely attracted to the bickering war of words between the UNMNO side and anwar ibrahim

the cracks in BN side were showing with a lot of factions forming within and disagreements in a lot of matters were telling signs of the failure that were going to hit them. there were a lot of unrest in the malaysian indians concerning their rights. then there was the economic state of the country in which the value of rinngit fell. and the rise of petrol prices.

with so many unhappiness in the country, it showed in the results. the opposition won 5 states and had a 36.9% stake in the parliment seats. even a jailed man can with a seat although he had a lot of help from his wife and followers. it was the worst performance in a long time by the BN side.

with abdullah handing over leadership to najib next year and anwar's threat to take over malaysia, the malaysian politics is like an unfolding reality show.

6) manchester United being double champions

finally, after a wait of 9 years, we are once again european champions. i know liverpool fans will argue that they won more titles than man u. but man u is just 3 titles away from equalling away that claim - 2 european and 1 premier league. stop living in history.

maybe perhaps liverpool should win the league title this year just to make it more interesting. and then man u can win the titles after that. just to let you pool fans have a taste of the premier league title.

-singing we are the champions by queen- enough said.

5) the death of heath ledger and bernie mac

heath ledger passed away on 22 january. great actor with an unforgettable character as the joker in the dark knight. i will never forget his lines and scenes. even a post-humous oscar nomination seemed to be an understatment. watch out for his next movie which is performed by 3 other actors - johnny depp, jude law and colin farrell

bernic mac passed away on 9 august. damn funny comedian with his bernie mac show being one of my favourite comedy shows. his cameos in movies such as ocean's 11 trilogy and transformers are somewhat real hilarious. "look at that america" and "welcome to my world america" are catchphrases from his show. will miss it.

may god bless their souls. rest in peace.

4) the fear of recession due to the bailouts in USA

thanks to the mounting credit debt in USA, it started a chain reaction starting with the bailout of several banks. shares just drop and drop. while there was a rise in unemployment.

since usa is like the superpower country in the modern world, their troubles affected worldwide. here in singapore, our gdp dropped so low that it contracted causing a recession here in singapore also. but from the way i notice how singaporeans are still shopping like there's no tomorrow, there seem to be little effect from the recession at this point of time.

but people who buy shares like my dear friend linton got his hands burnt. i believed he lost a lot that his hair is dropping due to him pulling out his hair. and there are several others like him. like he aptly say it, life is unfair.

anyway, continue to spend and spend. that will help pull singapore out of recession.

3) Barrack Obama long and hard presidential campaign

from early 2007 until late 2008. that was how long his journey to become the next president of usa.

his battle with hilary clinton to be the democrat's candidancy was one of the most publicised political things to happen in a long run. though he eventually won right at the end of the battle, both him and clinton should have both got the nod to be in the presidential race.

mccain never had the slimmest chance to upstage obama. his campaign is of a different contrast to obama's one to change the whole system. even the whole world was supporting obama to create history as the first black man to be the president of usa. like how faz and praba went to great lengths to watch the debates and whole presidential race, i guess it was normal for me to be part of the hype.

so congrats once again on winning. let's hope he will not deliver empty promises. for we believe in the change you have promised them.

2) Mas Selamat's great Houdini escape

the magiciam comes in at number two. amazing.

the 'wise and noble' leader makes his escape on 27 february. and up to this day he is stil at large. the infamous toilet window has caused a lot of spoofs online such as toilet break (read prisonbreak) and even a facebook profile of him. just a few months back, i thought i saw a mas selamat shirt.

his escape has put a black dot in our security effectiveness. this means even the best do have loopholes and be prone due to mistakes. as the leader of sji (singapore jemaah islamiyah. not saint joseph's), he had plans to bomb several landmarks in singapore such as the changi control tower and the famous yishun mrt.

so boys and girls. keep your eyes open. this guy is a dangerous man. though i believe he is already in indonesia or aghanistan prolly.

1) 2008 Beijing Olympics

this has got be one of the best olympics i have ever seen. followed by the sydney edition. it is simply spectacular to see the backdrop of china so well shot by the camera. captivating.

the organizing commitee did a fantastic job in the running of the whole event. that wasnt any major cock ups. plus who can ever forget the opening and closing ceromony. mind boggling i tell you. and the amazing fireworks. though the footage was pre recorded. but it was still wonderful.

then there's the amazing sportsmen and sportswomen. who can forget michael phelps and his 8 gold medals? or usain bolt in the 100m sprint which seemed so easy. then you got shashsa's fav who is the usa gymnast by the name of shawna johnson. or singapore's first medal in 40 years thanks to the female table tennis team.

well done china. now i am looking forward to london 2012.

and there you go. commments appreciated.

photos

2008-12-22T23:03:00.008+08:00

random photos with that law girl from SMU.

cousins bbq at west coast park

thanks to those who were present - danial, sheila, syafaat, faz, fahrul, syahidah, hafiz, haqiz, luqman and danish. a job well done to shasha and matin. great night out with you guys.

born to make you happy

2008-12-18T18:45:00.003+08:00

12 more days left to the new year.

time passes by fast indeed. age is catching up with me. i may be 19 on paper but sometimes my behaviour is like a 15 year old kid. all the consequences that i am facing now is the result of my actions over the past year. and i feel that i have to step it up to be a better person next year.

the idea of counting down to the new year does not seem to interest me. instead i would preferred that time stood still while i enjoy a little longer on the last few moments as a 19 year old teenager before my age hits the double digits. in the sense whereby my age next year will start with the number two. gosh. i am feeling old.

sometimes i just want to go back to my childhood days. those times where i don't have to worry about anything in the world. i just have to school and try my best in my studies. go back home and watch cartoons. listen to backstreet boys and britney spears. eat, play, sleep and school. life has never been that simple now.

while i was in malaysia the other day, i cannot help but notice the pace of life there. it is so so much slower than the pace in singapore. at 6 am in singapore, you can see our hardworking singaporeans going out to work or school. meanwhile over there, they just do their morning prayers and go back to sleep in which they will only wake up at 8 or 9 in the morning.

an hour in malaysia feels like a day in singapore. like seriously. the pak ciks will just hang out at the warongs and have their daily dose of sweet coffee and cigarettes. the teenagers are no different. most (i didn't say all) of them are just content with simple jobs such as waiters or salesgirl.

like how i learnt during TKE's class, their needs are still in the basic area such as security and maybe a bit of social. the kampung mentality is still etched in most malaysian malays. they are more of just living their lives day to day. maybe they do have dreams and aspirations but looking at the state of their country, i guess it must have been hard for them.

as much as the prospect of slacking there is great, i don't think i will ever move to malaysia unless singapore sinks due to a tsunami attack. my preferred destination will still be new zealand.

moving on.

thoughts of ncc and family helps ease the failure and school. as much as i think that i am getting uninterested in school, i still have to continue to work my way through. that diploma can be of use in one way or another.

had a convo with an uncle on the bus the other day. i don't know why uncles are attracted to me. so don't ask. he was asking whether i was in the army already and being me, i said yes. so he went on about how my diploma can get me places in the army and beyond. though sometimes the pursuits might be of no relevance to my course, with a bit of luck and perseverance, i might just get what i want.

and he has a point.

i have to set myself goals that i have to realised. realistic targets that i can achieve with hard work and dedication. and failures are not going to bring me down.

just being random, my niece in malaysia is super super cute. when i have the chance, i shall drive up all the way to KL to visit my cousin and her kids. i miss tika and fatin already. dang.

oh yea. i just realised that my tagboard had a sudden spurt of comments over the past few days. thank you people for tagging. keep it coming. :)

photos

2008-12-16T22:53:00.003+08:00

enjoy the pictures - 56th cadet officer course

photo credits to farrah, izzat, benjamin, jia hui (not sure. since i rip off from his blog) and stella. thanks a lot guys and girl.

reflections

2008-12-16T21:52:00.011+08:00

"When what used to control us becomes controlled by us, it is the beginning of a new part of our life. Each progress leaves behind a broken barrier that we have conquered; each conquered barrier is another step to our greater selves." - Arthur F. Carmizzi

first impressions counts. like what de yi wrote in his appraissal, i was seen by all the fiercest and no nonsense instructor. stamped my authority all over the place. regardless of syndicate or district. i made my type of standards clear to my syndicate. for inducing fear in all of them is a way to introduce basic discipline in the early stages of development.

unlike 54th, i was able to commit most of my time to the whole duration of course. of course i am proud of every 54th under my charge. but i was more attached to this batch since i was healthier and fitter.

made them write journals and essays. not that its all for nothing but it was a way to read their thoughts about the whole course. the build up of feelings and thoughts are interesting. it's like you are watching someone grow right in front of you. of course, you get weird comments such as me and dora being a couple or the many different opinions about sgt aizat's outburst.

i have no regrets in this course. about the voting thing, i have left it all behind. and i knew that person had no hard feelings since he/she didnt even aim for it. though i would have prefered my 2nd choice to be the award winner. other than that, i thought the other complaints that i might have about the course are long forgotten. mistakes have to be made for the next course to be better.

looking at the friendships made, i hope that they would remember this course for the years to come. not because of me, but for the fun and pain they went through together for the whole 3 weeks. like how i miss my syndicate mates, cubers will also be something that i wont forget. considering it will be my 2nd last course for ncc.

to the 56th, do your best in whatever you do. be a true original. not crispy. plus leaders are not followers but good team players. begin this new chapter of your journey in ncc with optimism.

to jocelyn, i never thought that i would one day work closely with you. maybe after being gay for the past few courses, you turn out to be my new found close friend. it's been a pleasure for me to work with you. will never forget those spastic moments. somebody hold my hand? -smacks head with a spastic face-

to the instructors - zhi wei, tashriq, hashim, xin ran, fan howe, akmal, gabriel, syukri, fahmy, sean lim, cheryl, eidil, jia hui and the sea girls. i love you guys. without you guys, this course could not have happen.

i want it that way

2008-12-13T00:19:00.004+08:00

a sense of satisfaction. for the 56th, a job well done.

it's time for me to move on to my next chapter in life.

one step closer

2008-12-10T21:25:00.006+08:00

where do i start?

shall start with Change of Command parade. i have only one word for it - exhausting. like seriously. it was like my first parade after nearly two years. to make it worse, i was the contingent commander for the Air GOH. kind of rusty. felt pain in every joint of my body. and i felt like swimming in my No.1 uniform. it was like as if i was bathing in my uniform.

thanks to the 36 cadets who formed the contingent. though we had little time to practice, it was a job well done on the parade. thanks to jia hui for being a great help and assisting me as the 2ic. though you like to spend more time with girls contingent. thanks to every appointment holders - clement, hazwin, jin kai, ain, syimah, jocelyn, fahmy, sholihin, xiao wei, zach, colours party and syimah junior. all of you made this parade possible and gave me good memories.

enjoy the pictures. credits to sholihin. heh.

on the otherhand, i had my dinner and dance last night. had a couple good photo taking sessions with several people. sat at the chinese vegetarian table. kinda stupid when i thought back. since i cannot go without meat. but it was a good experience to be a rabbit once in a while. there were a few couple of innovative dishes. though all were of the same ingredients. must be a pretty boring diet for those rabbits out there.

sort of confirmed the rumours about fad. though i must been stupid to not guess it in the first place.

had good fun chatting with fad, noor, amin and more importantly, meizhen (erm. not sure how to spell her name). she guided me through all the dishes. taking her time to explain the ingredients of the different dishes and asking me if i was alright with the food. thanks to all of you who made the dinner enjoyable. plus the emcee of the night was engaging. played a couple of funny games.

though i left early, i doubt it had any imapact of any sort. but at least i managed to spend some time with pumpkin. i hope the brownies were nice. wished i could have spend more time with you. -sigh-

moving on.

56th cadet officer course is coming to an end this friday. if any of you cadet trainees are reading this, i just want to say thank you for having me be part of an enriching journey to become the next batch of cadet officers. it is my honour to be part of the foundations of the next legacy that is yet to come.

i shall pen more reflections when the course ends.

to all you cubers, i love all of you. you guys are great.

to jocelyn/dora, i think we really compliment each other. in terms of leadership styles. great working with you.

to the other instructors, thanks for this course somewhat interesting. though at times we were damn slack, the jokes we had are something i can laugh at any time.

instructors - zhi hui, tashriq, fahmy, syukri, ain, eidil, hashim, xin ran, jocelyn, fan howe, gabriel and akmal.

to pumpkin, i love you.

somebody hold my hand?

if i were a boy

2008-12-05T22:46:00.003+08:00

okay. i just had the urge to say something.

so last tuesday marks the official last day for sean as a cadet officer. he will be enlisting in the army next year. when i was a cadet, i never thought that i could get along with an acs i cadet since we are very fierce rivals. all that change when i met sean.

my first encounter with him was during iace 2007. at first glance, he looks kind of snobbish and cocky with his shades. but once you have your first chat with him, all that instantly change. his witty conversations make that dull day at kallang sea training centre worth remembering. all thanks to him. maybe it was partly due to the fact that his legs were all covered in mud.

the next oppurtunity i had was during the 54th cadet officer course. though i didnt come most of the time, the times that we work together were something that i wont forget. it,s as if we compliment each other. the core principles we had in us somehow click with one another. hats off to him for being able to train the 54th batch of air cadet officers to the best that he can be.

to sean. i hope our friendship will last for the years to come. i'll do my best to keep in contact with you. though i think it should not be of a problem since we will be serving the country next year. i am thankful to have met a friend like you. i wish you all the best in the next chapter of your life.

photo credits to cheryl ma. sorry for ripping it off your photoblog.

yesterday

2008-11-30T12:37:00.002+08:00

so it's the first weekend of the course.

a lot of stuff happened throughout the week. am quite lazy to blog all about it. thought i just say my reflections at the end of the course. unlike dora who has a lot of time to spend at home, i have quite a workload to do at night. yupz. read notes and been doing my theory part of the fyp. else later joshua and rahim kill me if i submit late.

i got what i wished for. my bro is in my platoon. much to his dismay and my enjoyment. though i havent really torture him yet. called my platoon cubers since i thought it was quite a unique name and identity. forced all of them to learn how to cube. since im not a good cuber myself, i hired 3 of the best cubers i know to teach me and the platoon the right and fastest way - riley, cheryl and sean.

sometimes i think that i am intefering in a lot of stuffs in the running of the whole course. it's like im the oic for the course. maybe i just have too much initiative in me to do something that i think it's right. whatever it is, i shall tone down myself since fahmy is coming back next week as the 2ic. that will ease the load a bit on syukri. i think he has done a good job in the absence of the 2ic, admin and logistics. it's like he is a one man show. i salute you man.

i noticed that my platoon got an abundance of SSGs and MSGs. its like everyone is a leader in the group. healthy competition i would say. but as of now, some may have caught my eye. though it is not important at the moment. i prefer to have my focus on the togetherness of the whole group. i dont wish to have anyone pass out of the course and not have any memories of the whole course. that will reflect badly on my part.

its the first week. and i would not want to make any assumptions about anybody. at the mean time, i shall just focus on their basic discipline while imparting useful knowledge as a cadet officer.

honestly, i kind of miss school. havent been to school for a week. and i only told rahim about it. sometimes i think i leave my friends out in the cold. not that i trust them. but i dont think they understand the passion i have about ncc. not that i am fanatic. it's just that ncc is a place where i can really be myself without masking my ugly side of me. i guessed they are just entitled to their own opinions about me.

plus i have been such an arse to faz. i dont know what is up with me. it's just that i am too busy to reply to her sms-es. now she is simply ignoring me. it's my own fault. i am so screwed.

MSTs this week. i am in two minds.

HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY JOCELYN/DORA/MISSOH. nice working with you this 56th. we really compliment each other. i think. hahaha. give me one xin ran clap.

HAPPY BELATED 19TH BIRTHDAY FADHLY/FATHERYLY. i know that i am so so so late in wishing you. not that i forgot. but im just a bit busy. i hope you had a great birthday. wishing you all the best in whatever you do. you are a simply fantastic friend. i am honoured to have known you in my life.

HAPPY BELATED 45TH BIRTHDAY MUMMY. not that you can read it. but i just want to wish you health and happiness. you have done a lot for the family and i am thankful to have such a mum like you. though we may have our bad days, you are still the best mum that i can ever have.

baby one more time

2008-11-24T22:17:00.002+08:00

day one

photo-taking
course expectations
neuro-linguistics programming
cheers
journals and essays

nothing much to do. no productive work. though i had great fun with jia hui, jocelyn, fadhil and riley. take it and go.

as of today, air cubers is officially formed.

p.s. i got my new cube. thanks a lot cheryl. i looove it. :)

california love

2008-11-21T00:57:00.002+08:00

omfg.

just watched russell peters latest show called the red white and brown. and like his other past shows, this is super super funny.

there's a part about singapore.

if you want to watch, i have it.

p.s. i just had to blog and tell the whole world that i watched it already. feels so damn good.

underneath the star

2008-11-18T18:47:00.007+08:00

i have a new taste in music.

first off, i am beginning to realise that mariah carey has a lot of nice cool songs in her discography. a bit slow to know but at least i have all of her songs in my itunes. though i had download it like months ago, i did not really had the time to listen to all her songs. only after today, that i spent hours to just listen to her amazing vocals.

her vocal range is simply amazing. she can hit the very high and low notes with ease. plus she has this sweet melody of tone when she screams. i was like omfg when i listened to her duet with whitney houston. to top if off, she has the kind of husky voice that i like. did i ever mention that girls with husky voice are kind of sexy?

she used to have a hot body when she first started out. thanks to her divorce and emotional instability, she has grown a bit in proportionate with her big butt and bust. luckily, her voice isnt at least affected. in fact, her last two albums are like one of the best with the emancipation of mimi being the best which revived her singing career.

next up is britney spears.

i used to like her when i was way back in primary school. those bubblegum pop music was my first taste of music. back in those days when the hip station was perfect 10, the radio played a lot of her songs. my friends and i used to send dedications to the radio to hear our letters being read out and listen to our favourite songs by her.

i still remember one incident when my class put up a mini concert for my form teacher in primary 5. i danced (yes. i DANCED. SOLO) to the song it's gonna be me by n*sync. then my classmate, i think her name is seow ken, who danced to a britney spear's song. i think it is oops' i did it again. was damn cool la. come to think of it, i thought it was real sexy back then. hahaha.

back then, she was super uber hot. i still remember her concert in hawaii when she performed in a bikini. and like a typical boy, i could not take my eyes off her. her videos were something that i look forward to when i used to have cable tv. thanks to her marriage with that kevin guy, she looked damn flabby in the recent years. at least now, she is starting to have that hot bod which is evident from her latest music video.

i hope that these two artistes can keep up with their efforts to entertain us in the next couple of years. their music will be something i wont forget as it forms part of my memories in certain stages of my life. like how my mum is into scorpions till now, i might be telling my grandchildren stories of how i used to enjoy such singers in my time.

anyway, pictures from my mock interview last wednessday for my CWS module. i think i did quite well thanks to great questions given by yoke hwee and george especially. gave a very good impression of myself though i must admit that i was bullshitting half the time. buy hey. i have got to impress the interviewer right? plus this interview forms a heavy weightage of my assessment.

since i am nice (i AM nice), i want to say thank you to pumpkin for the two good lunch dates with you last friday and today. more thanks for the soap from body shop. i really enjoyed the time spent with you. once you are done with your exmas and im done with my MSTs, we shall go on a movie marathon and more fun trips. for now, i am content with just sms-es. though phonecalls would be even nicer. heh.

best things in life are free. and one of it is you.

even fairy tale characters would be jealous

2008-11-17T22:24:00.004+08:00

-waves hand- hello people.

yes. i am back after a week long of absence. frankly speaking, these past few days have been boring. i know that the mid semester tests are coming. but the reality of it has not sink into my mind yet. as of right now, i am only thinking of the COC parade and dinner&dance at some hotel.

i would say that school these days are pretty boring. none of my lecturers now are engaging nor exciting as previous semesters. though i would say that my LC module lecturer kind of remind me of some japanese ghost with her long white hair. i wish mr kong ling teck will be my lecturer in the next semester. that would be interesting.

as of lately, i have been of a listening ears to a couple of people. shall not mention names. but i have to say that the problems are similar to what i have experienced but of a bigger magnitude. i know that i dont really offer solutions. but from what i have learnt in last semester's module, i hope that i have made you feel a little better when i offer you my ears.

stayed in hq last friday. had great fun playing football with the guys. all but me played topless. and like girls being girls, i knew somehow they were talking about the different types of body were on displayed. a thing to note about staying in is that if you do not hold on to a blanket and a good sleeping spot, then you can forget about having a good night sleep. although most of them rarely sleeps.

was the first to sleep and the first to wake up. had cup noodles for breakfast thanks to this guy-who-asked-whether-tap-water-was-fine-for-boiling-water-to-cook-the-cup-noodles. attended the 56th pre course briefing in which me and jocelyn booked our appoinments since we cannot come for the meeting on tuesday.

oh yea. besides being known as sexyback, i am now called monkey. thanks to dora the explorer. lame i know. so yea. imagine dora the explorer and her monkey as course instructors. full of cock-ups i must say.

following that, had a sleepover with the cousins at matin's house. watched the horror show, rec on my laptop. thanks to the wonders of the internet. had good family fun, playing the ps2 and blasting the music at the maximum volume. i guessed that when you are having fun with the company that you enjoy, you can sometimes lose track of the time and get carried away.

ate a lot of good food while at matin's house. must have put on a bit of weight since i did not really exercise for the last 4 days. maybe during the 56th, i shall make it a point to run at least once a day. shall drag dora along with me.

i just realised that some of my juniors don't really know how to spell my name. kasidah called me hareez. fathona called me harris. ross called me haris. some think i am turning gay or bi-sexual. -sigh-

selections for parade this friday. feeling damn nervous. just hope i won't screw up my footdrills since it was ages ago when i last did it. maybe i could swap places with jia hui. i'll be happy with the 2ic post instead. -sigh-

been listening to a lot of rap and gangsta music lately. my taste in music seems very broad. and they seemed to differ from time to time. current songs in my playlist includes hits by the late tupac such as california love and 2 of america's most wanted and snoop dogg's songs. i am weird.

this is a bit late but i want to wish amin a happy belated 18th birthday. if you are reading this, i wish you success in whatever you do. may you find happiness in life. keep on rocking in life.

"I’m in love with you. I’ve been in love you with you forever. I’m a little late- I know I’m a little late in telling you that. I just, I just want you take your time. Take all the time you need because you have a choice to make. And when I had a choice to make…I chose wrong." - Derek Shephard, Grey's Anatomy

star spangled banner

2008-11-10T20:52:00.001+08:00

OLD VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long,
Building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and
Dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is
Warm and well fed.The grasshopper has no food or shelter,
So he dies out in the cold.

MORAL OF THE STORY:
Be responsible for yourself!

MODERN VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long,
Building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and
Dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press
Conference and demands to know why the ant should be
Allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and
Starving.

CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of
The shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his
Comfortable home with a table filled with food. America is
Stunned by the sharp contrast.

How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this
Poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and
Everybody cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green.'

Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the
Ant's' house where the news stations film the group
Singing, 'We shall overcome.' Jesse then has the
Group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's
Sake.

Nancy Pelosi & John Kerry exclaim in an interview with
Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the
Grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the
Ant to make him pay his fair share.

Hillary and Barack go on national television agreeing that
The plight of the grasshopper is the fault of George Bush.

Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity &
Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the
Summer.

The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number
Of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his
Retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the
Government.

Obama gets his old law firm to represent the grasshopper in
a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried
Before a panel of federal judges that Bill Clinton
Appointed from a list of single-parent welfare recipients.

The ant loses the case.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the
Last bits of the ant's food while the government house
He is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house,
Crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it.

The ant has disappeared in the snow.

The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident
And the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of
Spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.

MORALE OF THE STORY:
Be careful who you vote for...

credits to XBB on www.chedet.com

school rally - the josephian march

2008-11-09T22:49:00.003+08:00

went on a hunt to find videos related to sji. sort of taking a walk down memory lane. i miss my secondary school days. like a lot.

the joker class of the batch before me. knew quite a number of them thanks to peer suppor group and ncc.

back then, we were FORCED to have house cheering competition. rather lame now. but it was something that every house wants to win to claim the bragging rights for that year.

my house - fintan

lawrence - The champions

the annual founder's day celebrations. school holiday that only certain schools have.

i had the best times as a peer support leader. singing songs and playing games. inspiring journey. of course, there was the lasallian leadership training camp with st pat's.

the stuff that we do in school. out of dumbness and joy.

my darling junior.

then you have the annual parade. to mark national day and the handover of leadership to the sec 3's. i have to say that the marching is really horrible.

of course, there was ncc which forms part of the many memories i have of the school. not many videos found. made friends that i still meet up every week.

do vote for them on tv.

i may sound biased here but if you ever have sons of your own one day, please do send them to a good school such as sji or acs i (sji prefered though). invest in the quality of education for it will make him a better person. i realised that my poly life has exposed the many bad sides of me but knowing the values that were taught to me, i am optimistic that it is never too late to make amends.

ORA ET LABORA. work and pray.

i want it all

2008-11-08T22:30:00.005+08:00

no pain. no gain.

thanks to the wonderful co-ordination of my hands, i cut myself with a penknife while trying to cut the stupid plastic. it went real deep in the palm area and narrowly missed a few veins. guess i am not that unlucky.

applied pressure while waiting to see the doctor. and so after a few alcohol swaps, bandages and 15 minutes, i was done. it costed me 46 bucks. daylight robbery i tell you. if only i had the proper medical stuff with me, i might have done the whole first aid myself.

sent off my aunt at the airport in the evening. going to meet my uncle at paris who is already there for the past 3 weeks. since i am the closest relative to the family and me being close to my cousins, i kind of promised my aunt that i will take care of her youngest son who is a bit blur and blunt at times. spent the entire night at burger king for dinner.

and i really really really wanted to have dinner with SOSWEETSIRSEAN and his angels. i am so jealous that you guys ate at swensen's without me. plus i didn't get sean his birthday gift. it makes it even worse that i was the one who initiated the whole thing and was so excited to meet him. -sigh- maybe after your ib exams and your much-deserved holiday trip, we'll meet up before your butt gets kick at pulau tekong.

spent the whole day at matin's house. helped my grandmother cooked one of my favourite dishes - chicken cooked in coconut milk and chili padi. and she cooked it the most classic and traditional way. my oh my. it was like super nice. though it was so unhealthy with the high salt content and tons of coconut milk, i think it is ok to indulge in such dishes once in a while.

moving on.

changed the blogskin this morning. kind of inspired by barack obama's win. thus the colours blue, red and yellow. was searching for the stars and stripes but could not find any that could fit the template. comments are much appreciated.

this is for syahidah. if you are reading this while you are packing your bags, i would like to say that 2 more cousins have met pumpkin. that honour belongs to danish and danial. so yea. at this rate, i think that you will be among the last few to meet her. i wish you a safe and enjoyable trip to vietnam. do remember to make separate gender toilets if possible. and if you can find that shirt that says i love head prefects, do get it for me.

3 more weeks to 56th cadet officer course. taunting my brother everyday ever since he got the acceptance letter. if i ever becomes his platoon commander, he is such a piece of dead meat. i am such an evil brother.

"Maybe Romeo and Juliet were fated to be together, but just for a while, and then their time passed. If they could have known that beforehand, maybe it all would have been okay. I told Mrs. Snyder that when I was grown up, I'd take fate into my own hands. I wouldn't let some guy drag me down. Mrs. Snyder said that I'd be lucky if I ever had that kind of passion with someone, and that if I did, we'd be together forever. Even now, I believe that for the most part, love is about choices. It's about putting down the poison and the dagger and making your own happy ending...most of the time. And that sometimes, despite all your best choices and all your best intentions... fate wins anyway." - Meredith Grey, Grey's Anatomy

choosing my own way of life

2008-11-06T23:06:00.002+08:00

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeoning of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

- Invictus, William Ernest Henley

echoes, silence, patience and grace

2008-11-05T23:49:00.004+08:00

my jaw hurts due to excessive laughter.

since fyp ended late and the girls wanted to eat at bugis, all 5 of us went to tong seng to have our dinner there - rahim, fadhly, faizah, triana and me. kind of first that i went out with them and had dinner together.

when you have two loud girls who can laugh at almost everything and 3 guys that kept making me sarcastic and funny remarks, one cannot stop laughing. literally. from the dover mrt to the makan place, all 5 of us kept laughing at every oppurtunity. there was the the elephant joke, lesbian talk and many others. we should go out more often.

since my mum was nagging at me to get home fast, i had to go home first. thanks a lot to that-small-girl who joined for a while before paying for the cab fare back to her house. i would have been dead if i reached home even later. thanks a lot.

great food. great company.

so barrack obama is the new president of the united states of america. i know i do not sound the same enthuasiasm like anyone else. if he is able to carry out the promise to change certain policies and take more notice in the eastern side of the world, i will take more notice.

somehow i feel that as singaporeans, we should take more importance in the parliment issues in malaysia. since it will have a direct immediate effect on us if something drastic is to happen in the near future.

the echoes and silence. all i can do is to have the patience and grace.

"My Mom used to sing to me, I don't think I've ever told anyone that before, it was like our little secret. But every night she'd come in and she'd tuck me in and she'd sing something, like lullaby's or album rock stuff. And after she was gone I remember lying in bed for the first time and just feeling silence, you know. Then realizing for the rest of my life that it was gone, all her songs were gone, her voice and the way it used to soothe me, just all of it. So I guess I tried to find new songs to fill that quiet, but none of them ever really have. Now she's gone and Mia's gone... and Luke is gone. There's just silence...There's just silence. I come in here and I sit in silence and hear the echoes of who we used to be. And so I wish for patience, and grace, and strength to just let him be happy. Mostly I pray for the strength to not make his life worse because of what I want. That's the toughest part, letting go, you know? That's the part of grace that really sucks." Peyton Elizabeth Sawyer, One Tree Hill